Page 17 of Interference
I can’t bring myself to be any angrier at myself, though. Not after the talk with the coaches. Not after knowing I’ve given up everything for this little tiny being inside of my stomach.
So my anger manifested itself until I hurled it at the first person who spoke to me.
I look back at him sitting in my living room. He looks so upset. I think I even saw tears in his eyes. I have seen him vulnerable, but not like this.
It was that look in his eye that had me backtracking.
I fucked up.
I finish making him tea before filling a glass of water for myself.
It’s weird how quickly my brain went from normal to pregnancy brain. I realized as I started making the tea that all of it had caffeine in it except my sleepy time tea. I don’t need to feel any more tired than I do, so no tea it is.
Grabbing his mug and my glass, I head into the living room. I hand him his before I curl up on the other end, turning to face him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. That wasn’t right.”
He gives me a sad smile. “I’ll be your punching bag if that’s what you need. Whatever I can do to make you feel better. I don’t like seeing you upset like this.”
My heart hurts for him. He is willing to accept any scrap of affection I give his way, even if it means he has to endure abuse. That’s not right, nor is it fair.
“Brett, no. I don’t want to be mean to you and it be okay. You shouldn’t want that either.”
He swallows hard. “If the alternative is that I don’t get you at all, then I’m not sure I can accept that.”
“We aren’t dating,” I remind him.
“Only because you don’t want to be. I’m willing to be here in whatever capacity that you need me,” he promises.
“Why me? Don’t you have tons of girls in your bed, yet you keep running over here?” I spit out a little too bitterly for my liking.
“I haven’t slept with anyone else since sophomore year. I know you think I’m this playboy, but I haven’t been for a while.”
I didn’t realize that. I had no idea that he had been only with me since then. I mean, it’s not like we are together every single night. It’s another reason why that night with him was so reckless. I went and got checked at the clinic for STDs the Monday after just to be sure.
Little did I know he had impregnated me.
Sighing, I know I need to tell him the truth.
“I have to tell you something. Let me get it all out before you speak. It involves both of us, and I mean, it was bound to happen. We have been intimate for years now. I think we were fooling ourselves if we thought that it wasn’t going to happen. It is reckless and crazy, but I have made my decision, and I won’t be taking any comments on it.”
“Okay,” he tells me, looking up at me with hope in his eyes.
I’m about to crush him.
“I’m pregnant,” I say.
When he doesn’t speak right away, my heart starts to pound out of my chest. When another beat goes by, I start to get angry again.
“It’s obviously yours. I’ll get a test and everything, but you are the only one I have been intimate with for years.”
He blinks, shaking his head.
“What? Of course it’s mine. Fuck, buttercup. Don’t even insinuate it could be someone else’s. I might go feral on you.” He sucks in a breath. “We are pregnant?”
“Iam pregnant,” I correct him.
He nods. “You said you made a decision. I want to let you know that no matter what, I’m here for you. I will be the best baby daddy you could ever have. I will be at every appointment and class and whatever else you need. Late-night cravings? Call me, and I will get it.” He stops then, his eyes going to his hands. “If you’ve decided to not have it, I want to be there too. I want to hold your hand and help you recover. I want to be the man that shows up when you need it and supports you no matter what.”
