Page 19 of Interference
She looks down at our hands. “I do want it.”
“You do?” I ask her.
“I mean, at first I didn’t. I freaked out when I found out yesterday. That’s why I went off on you last night too. I wasn’t in a good mental space, but now I’ve had time to settle down. Yeah. I want it.” She pauses a moment before her eyes widen and she looks at me. “I swear I didn’t do this to trap you or your money or whatever. You don’t have to pay me a dime. I will get a job or ask my parents for money. Please don’t think that.”
I laugh, rising on my knees so I can cup her cheek. “That thought didn’t even cross my mind, buttercup.”
She sighs in relief.
I continue, “I am going to pay my part, though. Doctor’s appointments. Medicine. Cribs. Toys. Diapers. Those breast pump things. Whatever you need. I’ll foot the bill.”
“No. That’s too much. We go into this equally. We aren’t a couple.”
I cut her off. “We could be.”
“Brett, I know you think you want that, but we can’t be together just because we got pregnant. I’m not in the headspace to make decisions like that right now. So can we agree to maybe co-parent for the time being?” she asks.
“You’ll still let me come to the appointments? Be around you so I can be part of the pregnancy? I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t want to miss a minute of it.”
She frowns. “You’ve missed eleven weeks of it so far. I’m sorry for that. I had no idea I was pregnant.”
“It’s okay. We still have months to go. Don’t let it weigh on your mind. Only positive thoughts for Bean,” I tell her.
“Bean?”
I shrug. “Until I get one of those apps that tracks the pregnancy, that’s all I got. What is our estimated due date anyway?”
“It was hard to estimate with me missing periods, but based on when I believe we conceived? March thirtieth,” she tells me.
“Cool. I’ll make sure to circle my calendar.”
“Brett, you are taking this awfully well. You don’t have to be so kind about it. It’s my fault. We both know it.”
I frown. “Why would it be your fault?”
“That night. We had sex without the condom. I got on top, and I initiated it without one,” she admits.
As if I could forget that night. Is that the night we conceived? It’s possible, but it’s also possible the condom broke at some point. I refuse to let her blame herself.
“We don’t know that’s when it happened for sure. It could have been my fault. Maybe I grabbed one of those holey condoms girls are always trying to slip me. I’m not mad at you, Em. If anything, I’m grateful. This isn’t ideal, but my life has been lacking purpose. I think you helped me find one.”
“You’re really going all in on this, aren’t you?”
I shrug. “I don’t know any other way to go.”
She pulls her hands from mine. “If you don’t mind, I think I want to rest for a bit. Today was rough on me, and I’m not ready to keep talking about it.”
“Of course.” I stand, then I lean down and press my lips to the top of her head. “I’ll check on you later with a text? If that’s okay?”
She nods. “That would be okay.”
“Good. Get some rest.”
As I leave the apartment, I pull out my phone and start doing some research. I’m going to be a father, and I plan to be the best one this world has ever seen.
Emery might be scared and worried, but I’m not.
I can see my future clearly now, and there are only two people in the center of it.
