Page 32 of Interference
Tears track down her face but I don’t stop.
“I love you. I am in love with you. I fell in love with you years ago, and I understand that you don’t love me back. That’s okay. Shit, I accepted it, okay? But our child will never know because we will love them with everything we have.”
She runs a hand through her hair. “This is…”
Speechless. I’ve made her speechless.
I know I just dumped a lot at her feet, but it hurts that she has nothing to say. I wasn’t exactly hoping she would deny that she doesn’t love me, but a man could wish.
“I’m going to go,” I say, feeling more than a little raw.
And before she can even come up with something to say, I leave.
For the first time since I’ve known Emery, I run.
eight
Groaning, I turn over and open my eyes. I swear it’s like I haven’t had a wink of sleep even though I feel like my body has been lying here for hours. My body refuses to rest, though. I tossed and turned. I got up and then down.
This pregnancy is kicking my ass, and it’s not even half over yet.
I remember thinking about pregnancy when I was a child. Not seriously, but the way most little girls do.One day I’ll be a mother, and I will carry a baby in my belly too.
Everything looks rosy when you’re a child. Pregnancy is no joke.
After the emotional overload with my parents, I wanted to ask Brett to stay the night. I didn’t want to be alone after all of that, but he stormed out. I shouldn’t have made those comments about him, but they were true.
When I met Brett, he was the campus playboy, only rivaled by his teammate Clay. Or so the gossip mill said. It wasn’t hard to believe about Brett, though. He is charming and always flirts with women. He flirted with me over and over until I finally gave in one drunken night and hooked up with him.
I don’t know why, but he kept coming back, and I had no reason to deny him really. I had urges too, and he scratched them.
Still, after the argument with my parents, I needed him there but pushed him away.
My parents are all I have ever had. I can’t stand it when they are mad at me. I don’t know how to regulate my emotions like a real person. Usually I would go to the rink and work them out, but I can’t now. That left me alone last night with nothing but my thoughts, which is a dangerous thing.
Pulling myself from my room, I go through my morning routine. When I get to the kitchen, I find Ashley there.
“What are you still doing here?” I ask her.
“I have the morning off. They are doing something at the rink. Hey, I don’t mean to pry, but we are roommates, and I feel like I deserve to know. Did I hear something about a pregnancy last night?”
I wince. I had forgotten she was in her room during our dinner. She came home from the rink, took a shower, then said she was putting her headphones on to go to bed. Then Brett showed up, and I stopped worrying about Ashley and started worrying about my parents.
“Oh yeah. Um, you did.”
She waits me out. I wish she would just ask. It would make it easier.
Taking a deep breath, I give her a smile. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. That’s cool. With that hockey guy, Brett, right? Or is it someone else’s?”
I frown at her comment. “It’s Brett’s. I don’t sleep around.”
She holds her hands up. “No judgment if you did. I was only asking. That’s exciting, right? I mean, it sucks that it is right before an Olympic year. I guess this means you won’t be going for the gold, huh?”
I hate how her words make me feel. I have said them myself, but Brett has me believing that we can make it work. Still, her words hurt.
“I can come back after the pregnancy and work toward the Olympic team. Maybe not here at the college, but with one of the independent rinks,” I tell her.
