Page 49 of Interference
Brett has been great with me. I have no doubt if I said the words, he would accept me with open arms into his bed, but he made his stance clear. Until I can commit to being with him as his girlfriend for real, he won’t cross those lines with me. I want to be mad at him for it, but that would be selfish of me. I know how much he cares for me. Hell, the man admitted he was in love with me, so I know it has to be killing him to be near me and not really have me. I know I would feel the same.
Something is holding me back, though. I can’t be what he wants me to be. I don’t know how to be. If I give in to him now, I’m afraid I will give everything up for this picture-perfect life he has laid out for us. No matter what he says about getting me tothe Olympics, I know that if I take my eye off the prize, it will disappear.
I can’t be a mother, girlfriend, and an Olympic skater. There’s barely room for one in my life, let alone all three.
Still, part of me wants it even if I can’t admit it.
Standing from the couch, I stretch. “I guess I should go,” I tell everyone.
“No. It’s late. Take my room,” Brett tells me. “I can sleep down here.”
“Yeah, it’s late and you live across campus. You walked here. You shouldn’t walk home,” Cora adds.
My heart warms at how they all look at me with concern. They have been great tonight. Even Kellan and Wyatt have made sure to go out of their way to make me feel at home.
“Okay. I’ll stay. Will you come upstairs with me?” I ask, feeling my cheeks heat.
Brett gives me a soft smile. “Of course.”
“Good night, Em. If you are up early enough, I’ll make you breakfast,” Cora says.
“That’s sweet of you, but you don’t need to,” I tell her.
She laughs. “It’s my turn anyway. We all take turns cooking here. You’ll get used to it.”
I laugh as Brett leads me to the stairs. I’ve been in his room before. More times than I can count, but somehow it feels different this time. Like this means more.
“Feel free to change into anything of mine you can find that will be comfortable for you. I have a mini fridge in the corner with water and other drinks, but the others all have caffeine. I’ll make sure to stock it for the next time. I mean, if there is a next time. Anyway, I’ll be right downstairs if you need me,” he tells me, standing awkwardly in the doorway.
“Stay,” I whisper.
“What?” His eyes meet mine.
“Stay with me.”
He frowns. “Emery…”
“I know. It’s not fair of me to ask. Not knowing how you feel, but I’m so tired of being alone. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. Please. Stay?”
He looks at me for a long moment before he nods. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll stay. Whatever you need, buttercup.”
The relief is instant. So is the slight guilt I feel. I push that aside, though, as I move to his dresser.
“Anything in here?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at him.
He nods, his hands in his pockets as he leans against the doorway.
I open the first drawer and find boxers and socks. I close it, going to the next drawer, finding T-shirts. I smile when I find one with the Walker U logo, his number, and his name on it. I pull it out then turn to him. “I’ll go use the bathroom and be right back.”
“Okay.”
I quickly use the restroom and change into his shirt, leaving only my panties underneath. When I make my way back into the room, I find him shirtless with only a pair of boxers on as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“I wasn’t sure which side you wanted,” he tells me, looking down at his hands.
The guilt weighs on me as I look at how unsure he is. “If you don’t want to stay with me, you don’t have to. I shouldn’t have pressured you like that,” I tell him.
“I want to,” he tells me, looking up to give me a soft smile.
