Page 52 of Interference
Leaning into him, I smile as I start to wake up. Over the years, when I’ve woken up next to Brett, I’ve immediately worked my way out of his hold and out of his room. I didn’t want any awkward morning-after encounters. I didn’t want to hear him tell me he had fun and that he would call me later, nor did I want to say those words myself. Instead, I snuck out like a bandit, hoping and wishing no one would notice.
This morning is different, though.
For the first time ever, I don’t mind waking up to him holding me. I like the way his body cradles mine. The way his hand restsgently on my stomach, over our child. It’s everything I could have dreamed of and more. In fact, I want to stay right here.
As I wake up, I realize how tense he is, which sends up a giant red flag.
Surely he’s not going to give me the “this was fun speech,” right?
“Good morning,” I say quietly as my heart races in my chest, waiting for the shoe to drop.
“Morning,” he rasps.
I turn over in his arms and look up at him. His hair is mussed from sleep, and his eyes are soft yet guarded all at the same time.
“What’s wrong?” I ask when I notice his frown and how fast his heart is beating under my palm.
He licks his bottom lip as he studies me. “Honestly, I was waiting to see if you would sneak out of my bed like you normally do.”
His honesty makes me tense.
Did he really think I would just leave?
Then again, in the past, I would have. Who can really blame him?
“I didn’t. Actually, it never even crossed my mind.”
Here we are, both worried about the same thing. Have we really screwed each other up so much that we anticipate the worst?
We study each other for a moment as the sun starts to peek through his blinds.
“Do you regret it?” he asks after a moment.
“Regret what?” I ask, completely confused.
“Last night.”
This man. He can’t be for real, right?
How could I regret last night when it felt so right? Just thinking about the way he used his tongue and fingers to bringme to the edge over and over again, only to finally give in and blow my mind.
Again. We should do that again. As soon as possible.
Not right now, though. Not when he is looking like someone kicked his puppy.
Fuck.I didn’t reciprocate. He probably had blue balls all night while I fell asleep in bliss. I’m a shitty person. Still, I feel like this is more than that. He is asking if I regret giving in to him again. Crossing the line I set for us.
Reaching up, I lightly touch his jaw as I lean in for a kiss. At first, he doesn’t kiss me back. Only when I start to pull away do his lips move, giving me exactly what I want. When we’re both breathless, I pull back.
“Did that feel like I regretted last night?” I ask him.
He shakes his head.
“Look, I know it’s never been a secret that I didn’t want a boyfriend and that my sole focus was skating, but I’m not sure that’s the case now. I told you I needed space, and I couldn’t do this with you because my mind was so messed up from finding out I was pregnant. I’ve had time to think. Since I got pregnant, I’ve realized that I’ve limited myself. I thought that I could only have one and not the other, but you’ve shown me that’s not the case. I can be a skater and a girlfriend, baby momma, or whatever you want to call me. Do you know what I’ve realized?”
“What?” he rasps.
“That I would like to give this relationship a real shot…if you’ll have me.”
