Page 8 of Interference
My heart pangs. That’s not true at all. Brett has become more than a random hookup. He’s become a friend to me. He helped me last year when I was struggling on the ice. He would sit with me and watch me do a triple lutz followed by a triple toe loop over and over again until I got it right.
He’s a good guy. I just wish he hadn’t come that night. He looked so sweet and vulnerable that I did something so fucking stupid.
I didn’t think one time in the middle of not having a fucking period for months would be enough to change my entire life.
It has, though. My life will never be the same again.
If I keep the baby, I can kiss the Olympics goodbye. The changes my body will go through will be rough enough, but then to basically abandon the kid at birth to get back to my routine? That is unfair to the child. Especially if it’s just me caring for him or her.
The idea of aborting the baby feels wrong too, though. There is a life growing inside of me. The doctors weren’t sure I was going to be able to have a baby with how sporadic my periods were. This could be my miracle baby. If I kill it, will I always regret it?
I mean, at this point, even going through the pregnancy means I will miss the Olympics in February. So if I go through with it, I will have years to prepare for the next one. I can give one up, right?
I mean, Isabelle Delobel came back after pregnancy to compete. She had a partner to help her and also support at home for the baby, but still.
My parents.
They are going to be so disappointed in me. They both preached safe sex and my body being a temple and all that shit. They would constantly tell me how much money they spent toget me to where I am. They will be furious when they find out one reckless mistake will make it all be for nothing.
The door opening has me pausing in my steps. I watch as Ashley steps inside.
She turns and frowns when she sees me.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” she asks me.
“Yeah. Didn’t feel well.”
Or I don’t know, something monumentally life-changing happened, and I can’t even bother to care about class today because my mind is in a tailspin.
“Oh. Yeah, you don’t look great. Everything okay? You want to talk about it?”
Do I? Yes, but not with Ashley. We have been friends for two years now. Roommates for the past year or so even, but she is also a figure skater. As much as I want to trust her, there’s this sense of competitiveness that always lingers in the background. Would she run and tell the coach before I can? I don’t think she would, but right now I can’t risk it.
Besides, what do I even say? I’m pregnant and now my entire life is in ruins?
Yeah, I haven’t come to terms with it myself, so I’m not sure I want to speak it out loud.
“Nah. Just rough practice. You know how they can be sometimes. Even when you do everything perfectly, nothing is right.” I let out a small laugh. “Figure skating.”
She laughs. “Yeah, Andrey kicked my ass today too. I think with the Olympics approaching, they are trying to keep us in shape. They need at least one of us to place and make the team in January.”
I feel like I might puke again.
Another thing I will miss. Another chance for gold slipping through my fingers.
I don’t say anything to her as I look down at my feet.
“You seem stressed. You should call that boy who shows up here at all hours of the night and have him come relieve some of it.”
Brett.
Fuck. I have been selfishly thinking about how this will change my life, but I’m not the only one who made this baby.
Would Brett even want to know? Would he prefer I kept it from him so he wouldn’t have the responsibility?
He once mentioned that women only wanted him for his money. He even joked about how some would bring their own condoms to try and trick him into pregnancy so he would take care of them.
Will he think that’s what I did?
