Page 1 of Beneath the Midnight Sky
TOMORROW WOULD BE BETTER
Aspen
Sixteen yearsold
Walkinghome from school was basically the only time I had to myself. Time that I was able to think and just exist in whatever form I wanted to.
I walked along the sidewalk; grateful it wasn’t a long journey as I tried my hardest to ignore how I desperately needed new shoes. The pair I had on were wearing thin on the bottoms and had a hole in one side. They’d been a gift from the last foster family I stayed with a year ago. I actually hadn’t minded it there. The family was nice, and they had another foster kid my age, but then social services placed me back with my father, Henry.
Before the version of my father I was faced with every few days, he was apparently everything you’d want in a boyfriend. But that was back in high school, and it was only the story he fed me, along with stories of my mother from before I’d stopped asking about her.
He’d played football, becoming the best running back his high school had ever seen. My mother was the head cheerleader, of course. They won prom king and queen, completing the look of a perfect all-American couple. He had a football scholarship, and she planned to follow him wherever he ended up. The whole midwestern dream—until my mom got pregnant with me.
So the dream was canceled. Instead, he started working as a local car salesman, and life was fine. Simple, at least. Until my mother left right after I turned three. Since then, it’s just been us—my dad and me.
Well…it’d been me, and he sort of slid in and out when he was sober enough to remember I was around.
I’d been in and out of six foster homes since I turned seven, but I always ended up back with him.
He wasn’t abusive or anything like that. He sort of just…forgot I existed.
Sometimes I wondered which was worse—abuse or neglect.
Was it worse to be physically hit or for the one person in the world who was supposed to love you more than anything, to simply forget you were there at all? Part of me always wondered if he wished he’d left with my mother. Left to go live the life they wanted together, with me permanently in a foster home. Maybe a nice couple would have adopted me. Maybe I’d have siblings…maybe, maybe, maybe.
Shoving thoughts of thewhat-ifsaside, I made it home—sore feet and all. I walked up the little steps into our two-bedroom trailer; the steps had caved in on one side, but the other side was fine. Plus, it had windows on both sides of the trailer, so if I opened them all, the breeze would flow through almost as if we had working air conditioning all year.
I chuckled to myself because, honestly, my attempt to make it seem happier than it was was almost pathetic. My dad would say my optimism was a curse and a gift, but I wasn’t sure about thegift part of it. I felt as if I was just deluding myself into believing my life would turn out fine.
I tossed my backpack on the couch and walked into the small kitchen. It didn’t take long to realize my dad hadn’t been to the grocery store again. The empty appliance stared back at me like it had been the last few days—I laughed at my optimism that today would be different. Letting out a sigh, I grabbed a glass of water and sat down to do my homework.
By the time I finished, it was almost nine, and still no dad in sight.
I sighed, putting away my school stuff and getting myself ready for bed.
Tomorrow would be better, or maybe it wouldn’t. Either way, two more years and I’d be out of here. That was what mattered.
Two more years and I’d be on my own, in art school, living my life exactly how I wished to.
Nineteen yearsold
“Hi!My name is Aspen, and I’ll be your waitress tonight. Can I get y’all started with some drinks?” I asked with my normal fake chipper ”I work here, and I have to smile for tips”attitude.
The table in front of me was a mother, a father, and their two kids. So, the normal Friday family date night sort of vibes. The family rattled off their drink order for me, and I smiled politely before walking off to put it in the computer.
Seeing the father coloring with his kids sent a pang of grief through my heart. My dad had been gone for almost a year now, and I always wondered what my family could have been like if my mom hadn’t left and my father hadn’t slowly numbedthe pain in his heart with alcohol, or maybe if he’d have been happier leaving with her. Nevertheless, he had a heart attack right after I’d turned eighteen, and then I was alone.
Not that I hadn’t really been alone before that, but it was different knowing he truly wasn’t coming back this time. He wouldn’t be getting sober or mending our relationship; he was just gone. Along with any possibility of a brighter future with him.
Since I graduated high school, I’d been working in one of the three hundred ‘family-owned’ restaurants right off the Las Vegas strip. They all claimed to be family-owned for generations, but who knew if that was the truth. The owners now had only lived in Vegas for two years, so how “family-owned for generations” could it really be if the diner itself had been here since before I was born?
I brought over my table’s drinks, they thanked me, and waved me off while they looked over our basic dinner menu. Burger or chicken tenders? What a hard dilemma to have. I walked into the back kitchen and sat on a stool, giving them a few minutes so I wouldn’t hover. That was a sure way to a shitty tip.
I only had two tables at the moment, which was unusual since it was Friday night. But it was the middle of January, so it wasn’t as if the strip was insanely busy right now. The holiday crowd had died down, and the Valentine’s Day crowd hadn’t picked up yet. Crazy couples seeking Elvis weddings wouldn’t arrive in droves for another month or so.
Nevertheless, grumbling wouldn’t help my paycheck. I wasn’t even supposed to work tonight, but I picked up the shift anyway. It beat being at home, and we needed the money for rent. Even two tables were better than nothing.
Sam, my boyfriend, was once again out of work. It seemed like it was back to being on my shoulders to keep us fed. I wantedto grab new paint supplies this week, but that would have to wait until after the rent payment.
