Page 3 of Beneath the Midnight Sky
I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I took another deep breath. That was all I’d allow. No more. No more tears. No more drinking. No more hitting me. It would be fine. I could handle this.
I’d survived years of being ignored by my father. Sam and I loved each other. We’d talk through this, and it would all be fine. I’d find him AA meetings, and he’d get the help my father always refused to accept.
I took another deep breath before Chris walked back in with an ice pack for my face.
“After you’re done talking to the cops, I want you to take the rest of the night off, Aspen. They’ve already picked up Sam for the night with a drunk and disorderly charge. So, you don’t have to worry about him until he’s sober tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
I nodded again. Hanging onto my ice, I walked out and grabbed my phone from the floor before I sat down and waited for the police officers to show up and take my statement.
Apparently, I’d be alone tonight. Again.
Tomorrow would be better, though. It had to be.
Twenty-one yearsold
I was tryingto throw everything I could possibly need into this suitcase. It was going to be fine. I could do this. I could leave. Just deep breaths. It was going to be fine. Like I’d said a million times at this point. My father’s drunken, slurred words before he passed about my blind optimism floated through my head.
I zipped up my duffel bag and threw it over my shoulder, then walked out of the apartment as quickly as I could. I just had to get to my car, and then I’d stay in a motel for the night. Tomorrow I’d start driving. See? A plan. I’ve got this.
Maybe I’d start driving tonight. Weighing my options—maybe I’d get a room somewhere further outside of town. Less chance of him driving by and seeing my car that way, at least.
I managed to get down two flights of stairs, buried deep in my own thoughts, before I saw him round the corner toward me. I wasn’t sure what drew my attention to him. Maybe some internal survival instinct I hadn’t possessed prior to today. He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. I should still have had threemore hours before his shift ended. Why was he home? I hadthree more hoursto drive far away from this shit city andhim.
He rounded the bottom of the flight of stairs where I’d stopped and just looked from my face to the duffel bag thrown over my shoulder, and back up to me again. “Going somewhere, babe?” he asked, and though his tone was quiet, the venom contained in it was clear.
“I uhm…well…I think it’s best if I stay somewhere else for a few days, Sam…just until things calm down a bit. That’s all.” My teeth started chewing my bottom lip nervously.
He just stared at me, no words slipping from his lips. I tried to stand still and not let the nerves I clearly had show through, but really, I could feel myself swaying back and forth between my feet. Nerves definitely showing loud and clear for anyone with eyes to see.
“You’re not leaving me, unless it’s in a body bag, babe,” he muttered with a smirk, like anything about that statement was funny.
I could feel my heart rate speed up and my anxiety spike even higher. I wasn’t sure my flight response had ever been so high, but I knew I couldn’t go back into that apartment. I wouldn’t. He’d gotten drunk last night again and decided he wanted to get laid…it didn’t matter what I wanted or that I wasn’t in the mood for sex after fighting all evening. It hadn’t mattered that I’d clearly told him no. He pushed and pushed—even when I didn’t give in—taking what he wanted.
I took a deep breath. “Yes, I am.” I did my best to sound firm and sure in my statement. I was going to stand my ground this time. I was determined. I wouldn’t be another lost and forgotten woman whose boyfriend ‘just went too far this time.’
He slowly walked up the stairs toward me, and I clutched my bag tighter against my body. I could do this. I wasn’t afraid of him.
His hand came up and gently cupped my cheek and jaw, as he looked into my eyes. “Get back in the apartment, Aspen.”
His words were quiet, but that didn’t mean they weren’t holding tightly onto that deep threat. I didn’t miss it. It was right there in his eyes. The promise of violence. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t be this person anymore.
I slowly shook my head no and then pulled away from him. I moved to walk around him, but just as I moved down the next step, I felt him reach back as if to grab me, but before I could stop myself, I was falling.
All I could think was I should’ve left quicker. I should’ve left all my stuff. None of it mattered anyway.
1
LIQUID I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
Present Day
Aspen
What in theactual fuck was I looking at?
I was sitting on the living room floor of my studio apartment—at least what would be the living room. Truly, it was just a small love seat pushed against the wall, and a drop cloth on the floor that forced my“living room”to double as my paint studio, which is what it was serving as at the moment.
I looked down at the canvas in front of me. I had roughly two hours before I needed to be at Ivy’s to get ready, which wasn’t nearly enough time to fix the current mess on my studio floor. I felt as if the canvas was laughing at me, which wouldn’t be a first. But it could also just be my inner mean girl stirring up self-doubt.
