Page 16 of Healing Hazel
Ten minutes later, I was pulling into the parking lot next to the main lodge. I felt a twinge of guilt knowing when I’d left last night, I’d also left Nigel stranded as he’d ridden over in my car after we’d finished at the clinic. Though I knew he could always catch a ride with Lawson if no one else, I’d not even considered that fact when I’d torn out of the café and fled the Ranch. I supposed it was another thing I would have apologized for if he’d been where he was supposed to be and not…
Parked two spaces over.
I stood staring at what I knew was his truck. His was not only the sole cherry-red vehicle in the entire lot, but it was as shiny as a candy apple hawked over at the county fair, not a chip in its paint or dent in its body, both attesting to the fact it was brand spanking new. Which meant I now knew why I hadn’t found him running on the Ridge roads. He was somewhere on the Ranch. Perhaps he was chatting with his brother or even visiting Beverly in the clinic.
Or looking for an actual Little.
I didn’t want to think about that, but now, due to that unwanted inner voice feeling quite free to speak her mind, it was too late. Did I consider jumping right back into my car and peeling out for the second time in less than twelve hours. Yes, yes, I did. Then I remember that while I could run, I really couldn’t hide. Not unless I dropped out of the universityandquit my job.
I was under no illusion that I had anywhere near the claim on Rawhide Ranch and its residents as did Nigel. It didn’t matter that I’d been at the clinic longer. I wasn’t even a nurse yet, much less an ob/gyn doctor that Master Derek personally recruited to come all the way from London, England, to practice on the Ridge. And while I might be friends to several Littles who livedeither on the Ranch or the Ridge, I wasn’t related to any of them. Lawson Berringer wasn’t just Nigel’s big brother. He was the Chief of Security for the entire place.
Which left me pretty much on my own.
I’d had to pull up my Big girl panties yesterday to face Grant Chambers and it hadn’t killed me. I supposed this wasn’t going to send me to an early grave either. Would it hurt like hell to see Nigel with another woman, oh yes, it would hurt far worse than those six swats I’d received yesterday. And unlike the sting of those, this pain would be akin to the one I’d experienced…
Which you need?—
No! I didn’t give a flip about what my inner voice wanted to discuss. I’d shoved that into an iron-clad box a long time ago and it wasn’t ever going to be unlocked again. But it did remind me that I’d dealt with pain before and though it had laid me out flat, I’d survived it as well. Still, I’d never wanted to be a Little as much as I did right at this moment. Not to try to win Nigel back. I’d lost that chance last night. But the need to crawl onto a Daddy’s lap and bury my face in his neck, clinging to his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me was so strong it was visceral. But I wasn’t a Little.
But you have friends who are right inside.
I looked toward the lodge. I did and those Littles were often in the cafeteria having breakfast and laughing amongst themselves before their days began. And while they weren’t Daddies, they were never shy about giving out hugs without even having to know why they were needed. There was nothing keeping me from joining them except my own fear. I was going to have to face my future soon enough, might as well start now, right?
Right!
Stuffing my keys into the pocket of my jeans, I began walking toward the lodge.
Of course, I could have saved myself some angst if I’d remembered that while the cafeteria was open at 6 a.m. which was just a few minutes away, the Littles I had imagined already gathered around a table ready to jump up and envelop me in their arms, were not only not waiting for the ring of the breakfast bell, they were nowhere in sight. They were most likely still in bed snuggled up against their Bigs.
Seemed like this day was going to be full of reasons for me to remember I supposedly had untapped reserves of strength. Which meant it was time for Plan B. As much as I wanted to forget it even existed, the café was the only place on the Ranch that was open twenty-four hours a day and would have coffee and a huge, calorie-laden muffin. I retraced my steps across the lobby, pretty damn proud of myself for not just collapsing into a puddle of forlorness, and yes, Professor Rogers, I know that wasn’t an actual word, but you teach the art of creative writing so I could take a bit of artistic license if it would keep me upright and not huddled on the floor.
I was trying to decide if it was the orange-cranberry or the blueberry muffin that had my name on it when the sound of voices had me looking for the source. My hope that my friends had made an early appearance were dashed the moment I recognized one of those voices stating the wordsLittle girl. Unlike that deer, I couldn’t manage to slip away the moment she sensed danger. All I could do was freeze as three men appeared in the very doorway I’d fled from the night before.
I’d honestly thought I’d reconciled with the fact that I was once again on my own, but now realized that a part of me had still hoped that the text had meant exactly what it had said… not the forever and always part because I’d stopped believing in fairytales years ago. But the last two words that had lodged themselves in my heart were now lodged in my throat.
Yours, Nigel.
Except that was a lie. He wasn’t mine. He’d never been mine. And seeing as how he’d just saidLittle girlwhile standing between Derek Hawkins, the master matchmaker of Rawhide Ranch, and Lawson, the older brother who’d not only served as a role model for his younger brother’s entire life, he was the Daddy to Brooke, who was his wife and hisLittlegirl, he was never going to be mine. Sorry, Master Chambers, that well you spoke about? It’s dry as a fucking desert. Which left me with Plan C.
Run!
Chapter Seven
Nigel
“Zellie, wait!”
I might be a long distance runner, but Hazel was a sprinter. I might as well have tried to stop the wind because by the time I’d said all of three syllables, she was gone. Still, that didn’t keep me from dropping my to-go cup of coffee and taking off after her. Sprinters weren’t known for distance and there was a chance I could catch her despite the fact she’d been halfway across the lobby and closer to the doors.
The same doors I slammed through, not letting them slow the momentum I’d gathered. I didn’t walk down the steps, I planted my hand on the railing and vaulted over it, shaving at least five seconds off the route she’d have taken. I was positive I was closing fast when I caught the sound of an engine. Turning the corner of the lodge, I felt the blast of air that was displaced when her car tore out of the lot.
“Hazel! Stop!”
She didn’t and neither did I. My truck was only a few feet further and I was stabbing the button on the handle but the damn electronics were failing because there was no click of the lock disengaging. Digging into my pockets didn’t produce mykey fob either and that was when I realized my keys were in my coat and my coat was hanging on the rack inside the doorway of the café.
I looked down the road to see that all hope of catching her had evaporated with my stupidity in not keeping my keys on me. As I pictured Hazel passing through those iron gates, I threw back my head and did something I rarely ever did. I screamed.
“Fuck!”
