Page 34 of Healing Hazel
He took a breath and I lifted my eyes from where I’d dropped them in shame. The man’s history told of the things he must have seen, the experiences he must have had during his service, and yet I swore he was as shaken as I’d been. I moved my hand to place it over his.
“It’s okay, you don’t?—”
“Oh, but I do,” he said instantly, turning his hand over to entwine his fingers with mine. “I have to let you know that you didn’t give up, Hazel. You didn’t surrender. You fought with every fucking thing you had available. I’m so proud of you it makes me shake.”
I was shocked. Never had I expected to hear those words. Not when I could only imagine how I must have looked, the stupidity of allowing myself to be put in that position obvious to everyone in that room.
Cedro squeezed my fingers and looked around the group. “She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t drop anything, but by god, she fought. She couldn’t claw, but she could move her fingers. She used them to flash nine fingers, followed by one finger of each hand.”
“Nine-one-one,” Sadie said softly, her voice wavering.
“Yes, over and over and over again. She was sagging in the restraints, her wrists taking her weight, but she never stopped flashing her fingers. I tore across the room screaming Red. I swear to god, I said it at least five times before anyone even turned. It was like they were all zombies in some fucking trance. I grabbed the strap and threw it halfway across the room beforeI dropped the asshole to the floor. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him but realized that her fingers had gone still. So I forgot him and cut her down. By then someone had the sense to say they’d call 911, and I wanted to clock him too because, fuck it, she’d been trying to get someone to do that for god only knows how long!
Anyway, I knew we didn’t have time to waste. I carried her out of the club and took her to the hospital where Wes took over.”
His part over, he turned to Wes who picked up the narrative.
“I couldn’t get any information from her but was actually relieved she was unconscious as she was torn up pretty badly. Her wrists were abraded from the restraints and swollen from taking her weight. Her lips were bruised from the gag and it took some effort to work the ball from her mouth. Even the roof of her mouth had lacerations from the seams on the ball he’d used. I can tell you, I saw red knowing he’d not even taken the time to make sure he used the right type of ball. We took care of the blood and the open wounds, got fluids running into her and gave her sedatives to keep her still for the night.”
He looked at me with a mixture of pride and sadness in his eyes. “That didn’t keep her silent though. She moaned and called out in her sleep all night. Did you know that, Hazel?”
I shook my head, not knowing any of this, never truly wanting the details of how I’d looked, what they’d seen, what they must have thought.
Wes cleared his throat and blinked his eyes. “Fuck, I should have told you, then, but listen to me now, Hazel. You did safeword, you kept repeating ‘red,’ over and over again all night long.”
When I felt my face heating, he shook his head, his eyes going hard. “Don’t you dare. You don’t have a fucking thing to be ashamed of. Every single team member who worked with methat night made it a point to tell you that you were safe, that they were proud of you. People stayed way past their shifts simply so you’d never be alone in that room. You asked Ced if his class would teach you how to fight. I’m telling you that you might not have been able to kick, bite, claw and scratch that night, but Hazel, you fought like a hellcat.”
Shocked, I had no clue what to do, what to say, but it appeared my mind and body both did. I sat up straighter and instead of a flush, I felt my lips curling. “I fought.”
“Yes, babygirl, you did,” Nigel said from behind me.
And when I burst into tears, not only were they ones of relief and not pain, I wasn’t the only one sobbing in our group. What had started out as a tortured exposure of my darkest moments had turned into a sob fest where my friends took turns hugging me one by one and celebrating with me as the demons I’d lived with for years, were finally slayed.
It was several minutes before everyone had settled again. I felt so much lighter and yet a tug of guilt refused to release its hold. I should have known that the present company picked up on it. Derek sat forward.
“It won’t end until it’s all spoken, Hazel.”
I nodded and gave a little shrug. “It’s not anything really–”
“Your eyes say otherwise. Let it go. You’re safe here.”
“I-I just feel guilty, not because I was so naïve, but because I never did anything about it. Yes, I know Master Cedro and Master Wes both said I fought and knowing that will help me heal, but I never did anything about trying to make sure he couldn’t hurt another woman who thought she knew what she was getting into but was as clueless as I was.”
Derek smiled and flicked a gaze at Cedro. “I believe you should take this.”
Ced nodded. “Your abuser? Turns out you weren’t the only one. He was actually out on bail for previous charges having to do with robbery and assault. When we went to the police and reported your abuse, his bail was revoked and he was returned to jail to await trial.”
“How? I mean, I never even saw the police.”
Wes took the baton and continued the story. “But they saw you. Remember Ced said someone finally called them as he was taking care of you? Well, within a couple of minutes of his getting you here, a pair of officers arrived. You may not have spoken to them verbally, but your injuries spoke for you. That same person who called brought your clothes and your personal items so we had your name and information. I told them you were under my care and wouldn’t be able to be interviewed for at least a couple of days.”
I tried to remember if I’d also blocked that out of my mind, but finally just shook my head. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember that either.”
Derek chuckled. “Well, not only did Wes block their access until he determined you were well enough, Cedro stepped in and announced that since you were under the umbrella of one of the alphabet agencies, any future interviews would need to be arranged through him.”
My gaze flew to Cedro. “You were in the FBI?”
“I never said that, I just said alphabet. They never bothered to ask which one.”
