Page 28 of Haven't Killed in Years
I took the middle seat on the wall side. Megan landed across from me for a long night of eye contact, and Leo sat to her left. I assumedDominic would sit to my right, leaving the two seats on my left for Jake and Elyse, but when Elyse slid into the chair to my right first, it prompted a hushed but audible “Seriously?” from Jake.
Dominic took the seat to my left and Jake settled for the last seat to the right of Megan and the farthest point from his girlfriend.
“Let the siblings catch up,” Elyse explained, looking for me to agree, so I nodded. I wasn’t complaining.
There was a lot of standard group dinner talk. No one pulled out a knife to see how long someone could tolerate pain, so that was good. Smaller conversations broke out, the siblings talking about things the rest of us couldn’t relate to, Leo sharing the issues they were having back home with their roof, Dominic checking in on me to make sure I was okay. Lots of talking and no chance for coded doublespeak with Elyse.
“So, Gwen, where are you from?” Megan asked out of nowhere, elbows on the table, chin resting in her hands.
It was a pretty standard question, but I went into a little panic. I honestly couldn’t remember what I had told Dominic. Or Elyse. Had I told both of them I was from somewhere? I always told people I was from Pennsylvania, but that was with strangers and first dates, where Pennsylvania meant nothing. I wouldn’t have told these two that, one actively trying to find out what happened to Marin Haggerty and the other possibly already knowing. See, this was why I didn’t do things like this. It was too risky.
“All over New England, moved a lot,” I said.
Elyse shot me a look. Clearly I had spun a different story to her. Maybe I did tell her Pennsylvania. So close, but so far from being New England. Panic geography.
“Military family?” Megan pressed.
“No.”
Dominic read my curt response perfectly and sat up in his chair.“Can you believe she lived all over New England and her dad never married Barbara?”
That elicited a laugh from the whole table. Barbara, his mother, the serial monogamist. It registered to me as a little off that Dominic referred to his mother as Barbara. It was as if he had adapted to being just another one of her stepchildren.
One person wasn’t laughing. Elyse reached under the table and touched my thigh with her pinkie. I glanced down to where she was making contact and then rotated my head to look at her. She was making a subtleYou okay?face and I was confused at first until I realized I had told her my parents died in a fire.Ugh, and in Pennsylvania, I now remembered.She was wondering if a joke about my dead dad marrying Dominic’s mom had upset me.
I smiled and tapped her pinkie with my own, a sort of dismissal, and she took her hand back.
“How is Barbara?” Megan asked Dominic.
“She’s holding on,” he said. I waited for it and…his hand went to his hair, jerking it around,1-2-3. “We’ve got her settled into the house and the doctor has her on a new pain plan.”
Apparently his mother was quite ill. I would have to ask him about that later. Or maybe not. Maybe it was one of those things he would share with me when he was ready. It explained his fascination with “transcending” death and I wondered if his half a semester in behavioral psychology was enough for him to realize that.
Megan reached across the table for his hand, the age difference giving her an unavoidable mothering quality. “She’s comfortable though?” I was sure Megan would keep framing questions until she considered the answer to be a positive one.
“I think so,” he said.
She gave his hand a little squeeze before pulling away.Ugh, Megan, stop humanizing all these people. Is it you?Were there anymurderer vibes under that purported softness? Leo might have a few dead bodies in his basement, but probably not the ones I was looking for. So many new people were popping up in my life, and with every single one I had the same suspicions toward the timing of it all. I didn’t stop to consider that I was the one driving all these interactions.
The table had fallen silent. Megan had killed the mood by bringing up poor Barbara’s health. I took an exaggerated sip of my drink. Dominic scraped at his plate. Leo refolded his napkin in his lap. I saw Jake look past me to Elyse. I turned to see her giving him instructions with her face that I couldn’t interpret, but he got the message.
“Megan,” Jake added a voice to the silence. “How was Key West?”
That was enough to get her going again and everyone properly reset. Were all families like this?
- - - - -
It was one ofthose meals that just kept going. I had heard my phone vibrate in my coat pocket behind me several times but didn’t want to be rude. When dessert was cleared and Megan ordered coffees, I couldn’t take it anymore and excused myself to the bathroom, taking my phone with me.
It was Porter. Six missed calls, even more texts.
I sealed myself into a stall and sat on the toilet. The call rang twice before I heard it click.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.
There was heavy breathing on the other end. “My dad kicked me out.”
“What are you talking about?” I whispered.
