Page 74 of Haven't Killed in Years
“It’s your birthday.”
“It doesn’t matter,” argued Natalie.
“Oh, Natalie.” Gwen sighed. “You’ve got to learn to make the most of things. We can’t go to Disney World, but we can play checkers or something.”
“Okay, we can play checkers,” she agreed, to the frustration of Gwen.
“That was an example!” chastised Gwen. “You hate checkers.”
“I don’t hate checkers,” Natalie protested.
Gwen rolled her eyes. “That’s what you want to do today? On your special day? You want to play a dumb game that we never play that’s missing half the pieces?”
“Then why did you say it? You suggested it and now you’re acting like I’m so stupid for agreeing.”
Gwen sighed. “Okay, reset. Forget checkers. Pretend I never said anything about it. I want you to think of something that you want to do today that will feel special, that’s all. No pressure. If you think of something, tell me and we’ll do it, okay?”
Natalie nodded.
“And if you don’t think of anything, that’s fine too. Okay?”
Natalie nodded again, this time with a smile.
Natalie wanted to think of something to tell Gwen. She wanted to feel special, but more importantly, she wanted to please Gwen. She almost suggested a few things, but she didn’t want to upset Gwen like the checkers had. As long as she was with Gwen, she was happy. There wasn’t anything to do within those walls that would bring Natalie any more joy than that.
Natalie brought her dinner tray to the table and sat in the same seat she always did. Not only was she not afforded an extra dessert, the one she got was blueberry crumble, her least favorite. The blueberries probably weren’t even real. They were sour and mushy and the crumble was more like a paste.
“Happy birthday, Natalie,” came a voice from behind her.
Natalie looked over her shoulder to see Declan. “Thank you,” she said, hesitant to outright ignore him.
He slid into the seat next to her and placed his tray beside hers. He never sat with them. This was going to be a thing.
“Gwen’s sitting there,” she tried.
“I wanted to offer you my dessert. You know, for your birthday.” He grinned as if he weren’t trying to convince her he was being kind.
“No, thank you.”
“Really, I insist.” Declan scooped a spoonful of the blueberry slop and dropped it directly on top of her rectangular pizza.
Natalie closed her eyes. He wanted her to react. He knew what would happen to her if she did. She didn’t want to be sent to her room for the night. She hadn’t thought of anything special yet.
Another spoonful hit her tray, and when she opened her eyes, it covered her french fries. Declan grabbed one, only a dot of blueberry on it, and shoved it into his mouth. “Not bad,” he said.
Natalie looked for Gwen, but she was still in the food line. She would be a few minutes and Declan wasn’t going anywhere. He started humming; it was the tune to “Happy Birthday.” It started soft, but each time he repeated the verse, it would get louder, more aggressive, his head moving closer to her ear. She started to tingle. Not now. She couldn’t do this now.
She reached over and shoved his tray away. It slid along the table until it went crashing to the floor.
An attendant was at their table before the tray had finished reverberating against the tile. “What happened?”
Declan pointed at Natalie. “She pushed my tray. I wasn’t even doing anything. She always does this stuff to me.”
“Go get another dinner,” the attendant instructed. “And sit somewhere else.”
Declan slid off the stool and shielded his face enough to wink atNatalie without the attendant noticing. Then he was gone and only the effects of him lingered.
“I’m sorry,” said Natalie. “I didn’t mean for it to fall.”
