Page 58 of Embedded
“In here.” He directed me into his office and pushed me gently into a chair. I reached for Chase and pulled him from the stroller and held him close. His cries immediately stopped. “Look at me.” I struggled to focus. “Nicole,” his voice was firm and commanded my attention, “You told me about your job. You’re trained for this, right? Just remember your training. Tell me what happened.”
Right.
“June bent down to get Chase’s bunny. He dropped it.” My voice gave my terror away, “A car hit her and took off. It was an old gray Honda, looked to be maybe early 2000.” I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pull the memory forward. “Holy shit, was this because of me and all that’s going on with Chase?” A whole new level of panic ripped through me.
“We have no idea of knowing that right now. So, for now, I have more pressing questions to ask. Who was driving?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t see anything, just the back of it.”
“Okay, what else? Did you hear anything before?” I shook my head. “Was there anything on the car that you remember? Something that stood out?”
“No.” I looked down. “Wait!” I remembered something. “There was a red sticker on the top of the bumper near the trunk. I think it was in the shape of a tiger or something.”
“Zack?” I whispered and looked into his eyes as my legs shook.
“Yeah, sweetheart, she’s gone.”
I hugged Chase tighter as I lost it.
I barely remembered Paul picking us up and taking us home. Mike checked a few times, but the call went straight to his earpiece. I made out a few words here and there about how they were checking the traffic cameras, nearby businesses, and working with the police. I was sure they were frantically working any angle to get some kind of answer.
Mark stayed behind, as he didn’t want to leave June. I did remember Savannah asked Paul how I was. I wasn’t ready to talk, not then. The stairs and the long walk down the hallway to my room felt like it took forever. A hot shower did nothing to rid me of the shock and horror of it all, but I managed to get myself ready to go.
The house was silent and still. I wondered if the guys had found out anything. I decided not to ask. I was sure someone would fill me in. I could only imagine the chaos in the offices downstairs and wondered if I should offer to help. But again, I decided against it. I didn’t want to get in the way.
I wished I’d had more opportunity to get to know June better, but I was happy to have known her enough to enjoy some time with her. She had so much love to give and so many people who were lucky enough to have had it. She might be gone, but her memory would always be here. My heart broke when I spotted Mark down the driveway later on, talking to Mia. The raw pain I’d seen on the faces of the family brought a huge lump to the throat, but Mark’s face had been the worst of all. The heartbreak he felt in losing his beloved June was hard to see. She’d been like another mother to him since he was a boy. I’d heard the story from Savannah, and it made me feel the depth of his pain.
I felt terrible. To leave the very next day after such a tragedy occurred felt insensitive and cold. I wondered…Paul appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, and he stood there quietly as I stared at the floor. I knew he was there to take me to the chopper, but I just wasn’t sure about any of it.
Like the rest of Blackstone, Paul held it together and was strong for everyone else. I wondered if when he was alone if he’d let it out, or if he just swallowed it down.
“Are you ready?” His voice was barely over a whisper.
“I don’t know if I should go.”
He crossed the room and joined me on the couch. He rested his elbows on his thighs and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve seen something shocking, but, Paul, she was such a lovely person. I feel so terrible.”
“I know. We all loved her.” He rubbed his hands together as if they were cold. “It sure takes a toll.”
I nodded in agreement as tears ran down my cheeks. “We had such a nice talk. She told me about how she and Abby walked the park years ago and why she loved it. She made me laugh.”
“Yeah? Why?”
“She mostly went along because the football team practiced there.” I ran the back of my hand over my cheeks. “She said Keith’s nan might have had a dirty mind, but it had nothing on her.” That made him chuckle. We sat there for a moment, letting the hurt seep back in. “You were all so lucky to have had her. She loved you all so much.” He took my hand in his cold one as he tried to soothe me. “There’s so much love here. June, Abby, Sue, all the wives. So much warmth.”
“It’s because it was built on a good foundation. Daniel’s parents and grandparents were the same way, full of love. Generations of good people doing good things.”
“I hope to break my family’s pattern,” I confessed then felt terrible for turning the moment on me. “I just think you’re really lucky.”
“Nicole, you?—”
“Can I ask you something?” I cut him off, and he waited for me to go on. “When we were in Washington, you said you were against my going back. Was that because of what’s going on between us, or because you don’t agree it’s worth going back in?”
He pressed his lips together as he thought. “It’s a high-risk trip, and it involves a third party.” He squeezed my hand to show he meant me. “We’ve never willingly planted a mole. Especially one like you, not that you aren’t experienced.” His voice was unemotional, as if he was explaining something to his team.
“Okay.” I wished he’d answered that a little differently and I hated that I felt like I needed some kind of love and comfort. I shook it off, I realized I felt vulnerable after what happened with June. Also, I had to admit I was more scared about this whole trip back to Mexico than I admitted, even to myself.
