Page 38 of Holly Jolly Heresy
He tugged her into his lap, smoothing the wrinkle between her eyebrows with his thumb. “Yes, I’m sure.”
She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath, gripping his hand so tightly her knuckles had turned white. “I don’t know how to say this without it sounding incredibly self-centered and presumptuous, so I’m just going to say it.”
He grinned. “Alright.”
“Is this because of me? Because of what we’ve done?”
“It’s notnotabout you.” His grin faltered, but he focused on the amber of her eyes, more golden at the center and darker towards the edge. “I thought you didn’t like the Church.”
“I don’t.”
“And you didn’t like me working for the Church.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be the reason you leave.”
His stomach dropped and he studied their intertwined hands, her smooth skin and neatly trimmed nails painted with some kind of pale shimmery polish. “Oh.”
“It’s too much pressure, Caleb. I— it’s barely been two days. You can’t change your entire life because of two days.”
“It hasn’t been two days.” He set his jaw and met her gaze, willing her to recognize the truth in his words. “It’s been eighteen months since I met you, Molly. Eighteen months of feeling like I’ll break apart if I don’t see you, if I don’t talk to you, touch you. Do you have any idea what it’s like to spend eighteen months at war with yourself?”
She opened her mouth like she might speak, but then closed it again, glancing away. He needed her to hear him, to understand. He gripped her chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilted her face back up to his.
“I have spent eighteen months begging God to take away these feelings for you, this ache in my chest that never stops. To say nothing for theyearsI’ve spent praying for Him to help me understand His Church, to help me find my place in it so I could reach the people who needed me. And all it took was two days with you for me to see the answer to both my prayers is the same.” He softened his grip, sliding his hand along her jaw to the nape of her neck, the soft hair falling free from her bun tickling the back of his hand. “I cannot change His Church from within it, and so to help the people I’ve set out to help, I can no longer be a priest.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I cannot stop loving you, and so I can no longer be a priest.”
Her breathing hitched, a shuddering exhale moving through her. “You love me?”
“I do. I’m too old for you, I know, and my life is a mess—” Her watery chuckle loosened the tension in his muscles, the last vestiges of his self-preservation falling away. He pulled her into his lap, pressing his hands to her back, the rise and fall of her breathing beneath his palm. “But I love you, Molly Proulx.”
Her kiss took him by surprise, the urgency with which she pressed her mouth against his, the demand of her fingers curlingin his hair, nails scratching at his scalp. She kissed him as though she needed it to survive, as though she’d draw breath from his lungs, and he’d gladly give it to her. He traced the opening of her mouth with his tongue and she melted against him, the fur at the top of her dress tickling his chest as she moved in his lap.
They broke apart, panting, her lips swollen and eyes bright. “Say it again.”
“I lo—”
“I love you too.” The glow of her smile was a gift he didn’t deserve but would gladly accept. “And you really don’t want to be a priest anymore? You’re sure you want to leave?”
He slid his hands down her back, adjusting her in his lap so she was straddling his thighs and gripping her ass through the thin velvet dress. “I’m sure, angel.”
“But what about—”
He cut off her question with a crushing kiss, quick but firm. “I don’t have all the answers yet, Mol, but I know what I want.” He settled her against him, urging her forward so she could feel the thick ridge of his erection trapped in his boxer briefs beneath her. He knew the moment she felt it because her pupils widened and she bit her lip, that simple gesture making him painfully harder. “I want to help people, the way I always intended to. And I want a life where I can love you with all my heart, all my soul, and all my body.”
She rocked against him, teasing him with the slow roll of her hips. “It’ll cause a scandal in a town as small as Aster Bay, a priest falling from grace.”
“Not falling from grace,” he said, hands sliding under her skirt to caress the soft skin hiding there. “Just falling in love.” Would he ever get used to seeing her smile like this, warm and secretive, like she knew exactly what she was doing to him and found itdelightful? “We’ll figure the rest of it out together. If you’ll have me.”
“As if you could get rid of me now,” she said, bending to kiss him.
Then she was gone from his lap, standing over him as she slowly lifted the hem of her ridiculous Santa costume and pulled it over her head. The scrap of fabric landed on the floor at her feet. He couldn’t keep himself from reaching for her, couldn’t believe the blessing of being able to see her like this, naked and needy and wantinghim.He lifted her breast to his lips, sucking the furled tip into his mouth, desperate to taste her everywhere.
But Molly had plans of her own, it seemed. She tugged at the waist of his boxer briefs and he lifted his hips to allow her pull them down his legs. He thickened under her hungry gaze, and he circled the base of his shaft with one hand, stroking himself slowly, gripping tightly. “Sit on the desk,” he said, his voice rough with desire.
She complied, sliding her bottom onto the edge of the desk and letting her knees drop to the side. She was a vision, glistening and pink, her thighs red from his stubble when he’d licked her to orgasm earlier in the night. He loved seeing the evidence that he’d been between her legs once already that night, the proof she wanted him there again.
He placed her feet on his knees, then spread his legs wide, moving hers apart at the same time, as he settled back in the chair. The new angle put more of her on display, the sight of her waiting and open for him sending a thrum of power through his veins. He returned his hand to his cock, stroking slowly, his other hand holding her foot in place on his knee.
“You are such a gift,” he whispered.
