Page 52 of Sensing Selma
He hadn’t even seen me. He hadn’t even looked my way.
I shook off the disappointment.
It was to be expected. All the cameras flashing their lights in his face. All the excitement of the day. He didn’t even know I was in London. He didn’t know to look for me.
*****
SECURITY AT THE AFTERparty was rather lax, perhaps due to the inclement weather. With the rain falling so heavily, few uninvited guests tried to enter. Despite that, I knew that I still had to time my attempt at entry carefully. I waited until a group of four, two men accompanied by two women with oversized hats, arrived. They kept the guard busy, and he didn’t notice me as I passed behind the foursome.
Inside, I breathed and immediately picked up a champagne flute, determined to find Damen and celebrate this great evening with him.
I walked through the crowd and noticed the many hungry eyes that looked my way. But my mind was on Damen.
Then in the distance, I saw him. His eyes sparkled as he spoke to the people around him. He was animated and excited. Clearly, the premier of the movie had pleased him. He was proud.
Smiling, I made my approach, my heart so eager to surprise him.
But before I reached him, his co-star, Roma, came up to give him a big kiss.
How bold of her, I thought.
But then again, she had just finished a movie with him and perhaps she felt close to him.
It’s just a kiss, after all. No big deal.
Damen stepped away from the people he’d been talking to and pulled Roma into his arms to kiss her more passionately.
Stunned, I stopped walking and just stood there staring.I knew it wasn’t just a celebratory kiss. This was more. So much more. I stepped closer.
“Damen?”I said, not sure my voice would reach him.
But it had, for he turned to look at me. His eyes went wide with surprise, then narrowed with uncertainty and finally grew blank.
I grimaced. I went numb.
“Yes?”He said, as if talking to a stranger. “Can I help you?”
“Damen.” I almost choked on his name. “It’s me, Holly.”
He looked at Roma, a ridiculing grin on his lips. “I don’t know how these fans get by security.”
“Do you want an autograph?”Roma asked. She sounded artificially sweet, completely unaware of the situation but clearly not caring. She was completely oblivious of the fact that the man standing next to her was breaking my heart in that very moment.
Or worse still, did she know?
I shook my head. “I...I...I...”
“Dear girl,” Roma said with a shake of her head.
The way she looked at me left me feeling so small and insignificant.
“Can I just speak to you a moment?”I begged of Damen. “Just a moment.”
Grabbing Roma’s hand, he turned and walked away. The sting of his rejection was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
I wanted to crumble to the floor. Standing there amidst the stars of this movie, I simply wanted to crumble into nothing, to instantly disappear.
Before I could turn to walk away, a security guard came up to me, his uncompromising hand snug around my elbow.
