Page 6 of Sensing Selma
“But where are we going to go?”she said, tears lining her eyes. “We have no money. Even if both of you start working, we’ll never be able to pay for anything larger than a two-bedroom flat. We’ll never find anything suitable here in Bath. We’ll never, ever be comfortable again.”
“Tomorrow I’ll make arrangements with the movers to have all the furniture put into storage. Then, we’re going to go live, only temporarily in Derbyshire.”
“Derbyshire? Susan, why on earth would we go to Derbyshire. I like it here in Bath.”
“You’ll like Derbyshire as well, Mother. I’m sure you will.”
“We’ll be staying at Moon Manor,” Holly threw in.
Mother’s eyes lit up. “Moon Manor? Oh.” She looked at me. “Why didn’t you say we’d be staying at Moon Manor? That changes everything. I’ve been hearing so much about it. Everyone wants to go.”
“Well then, you’ll be happy to know that we should be spending a month or so there.”
*****
GOING THROUGH A LIFETIMEof accumulated stuff proved to be emotionally draining. While I’d adopted the method of going through my wardrobe to clear out what I no longer liked, what no longer fit or what I never, ever wore, I still had a few nostalgic items at the very back of my closet.
I found the dress I’d worn when I’d graduated; a simple high-necked, long-sleeved dress in baby blue. Then there was the Chanel inspired skirt and jacket I’d worn on my first day at college. And I really didn’t want to send away the soft pink dress I’d recently worn to a cousin’s wedding.
“How are you coming along?”Holly said as she burst into my room.
“I’ve packed what I’ll bring to Moon Manor,” I said pointing to the luggage set by the door, then pointed to the far corner. “In those boxes are all the things I won’t bring but want to keep. They will go in storage. And that pile over there is what I’ll bring to the charity shop.”
“We’ll be at Moon Manor for over a month, you said.” She shot a doubtful glance at my luggage. “Do you really think you’ll have enough of just the content of those few suitcases?”
I sighed. I could just imagine the massive pile of luggage she planned to bring to Derbyshire.
“I was just about finished here,” I said, unwilling to get into a tousle over the amount of clothes she intended to bring. “Do you want to come help me clear out Mother’s room?”
“No,” she said. “I’m getting together with a few friends. We still have some time to pack up.Besides, everyone wants to spend time with me before I leave town.”
Of course they do.
“Russel, Timothy and Brandon all want to have lunch with me. Then when Sally found out I was leaving, she told Beatrice, Tammy and Eunice.Of course, they all want us to get together. Oh, and Donna wants to see me and Carol and Caroline and Vivian and Maureen.”
I smiled with a touch of envy for her wide circle of friends. She’d always been the loud, vivacious one while I was more than happy to step back and leave her the limelight. I’d never enjoyed crowds and felt uncomfortable whenever too many turned their eyes to me. Attention seeker, I was not.
But there were times when I wished I could be a bit more like Holly.
“Well,” she said with a giggle. “I’m off. Don’t wait up for me. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day and a longer evening.”
“Have a good time,” I said, pressing a tight smile.
Then again, I thought as she left me, her need to socialize often left me with the responsibilities that could sometimes be overwhelming. Did she realize how much I did so that she could concentrate on perfecting her piano playing? Besides Father’s income, I was the one who spent all my time finishing college and then working at an accounting firm, long days and nights to help out with the family finances.Did she know that I’ve worked to help pay the bills and put food on the table while she was free to follow her dreams?
No. I doubt she did. And even if she did, she was so accustomed to things going her way, that she probably took it for granted. Of course, I should help her fulfill her dreams. Of course, I should ensure she had everything she wanted. Of course, I should do all I could to make sureshewas happy.She was the baby sister while I was the practical older one.
I grunted and shook off my frustration. There was no time for that.
I finished packing my room and went in search of my mother, finding her in the breakfast room crying as she stared out the window.
“Mother?”I quietly said.
She pulled her gaze away from the window and wiped her tears with a handkerchief. “I’m fine,” she said, her voice strong and resigned. She glanced out the window again. “Will I ever find a place as lovely as this to enjoy my morning coffee, my toasts and jam?”
It was, indeed, an idyllic setting. Just outside the window were several colorful bird houses, bird feeders and three bird baths and every morning brought a flurry of feathered activity. Beyond all that were the rows of yellow rose bushes that led to a large water fountain and the garden beyond that and the woodland beyond that.
“I hear that Moon Manor has a splendid garden,” I said, aware that it was pointless to say.
