Page 38 of Hooked On Him
Throwing my phone onto the counter, I lean my head against the cool surface and groan. What am I doing with my life?
I can’t keep brushing Austin off. He’s trying, and I’m giving little in return. I need to do better, be a better friend.
“Fuck it.” I snatch my phone off the counter and pull up my boss' number. Thankfully, he should still be at the bar, even if it’s late, so I won't be waking anyone up.
It rings a few times before he picks up.
“Hey, Eddie. About tomorrow's shift. I won’t be able to cover it. Sorry. I have plans.”
The words leave me with this exciting but nervous thrill that makes my heart beat faster.
It’s time I start enjoying my life, and live it before too much time goes by and I have nothing but regrets. I don’t want to lookback in ten years and have nothing to show for it, nothing to reminisce about.
I’m going to start living, and that starts tonight. Or should I say tomorrow.
Chapter 8
Austin
“Okay, what has gotten into you?” Charlie asks, coming to stand at my side as I angrily chug down a bottle of water. We just spent a good hour practicing, getting ready for the game tonight, and I’ve done shitty. Like, worse than I’ve ever been.
“I’m just distracted,” I mutter, throwing my bottle into the locker before pushing past him for the showers.
“Is everything good? I mean with you and Levi?” Charlie asks.
“Everything is fine. Just peachy,” I say in a way that's not at all believable.
“Yeah, because that sounds convincing,” Charlie drolls, leaning against the wall as I strip out of my dirt-covered clothes. Giving him a glare, I yank the shower curtain shut.
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Just tired.” Because I was up all night thinking about Levi.
I know he works a lot. Too fucking much if you ask me. But I don’t know, I really wanted him to be there for this game. It’s one of the biggest ones for us. Not for the league, but for us personally, because this team is one we always have trouble beating, and this year is going to be the year we kick their ass.
At least that's what I was hoping for until my mind was pulled right out of the game.
I should have known better than to even get my hopes up. There was nothing so far that showed Levi would have any free time. But still, like a love-sick sap, I wished for it.
“You know I’m happy for the both of you, right? You guys mean the world to me. But are you sure that you two being together is the best idea? At least right now? Levi is so dead seton working, and I understand why. He took the hit for Megan to be able to have her dream wedding, and now he believes he has to do it all on his own. But he doesn’t. Yet he won’t take anyone's help.” He sighs. “Anyway, I don’t see Levi changing any time soon. Even for you. He’s missed a lot of holidays because of work. He doesn’t do it because he doesn’t care, he just has his mind set on his future. Any of the times you’ve talked about you and Levi hanging out, it’s always been just coffee. Is that how it’s always going to be?”
I want him to shut up. I want him to stop talking because I know everything he’s saying is true. And I hate it.
I have no right to be upset that I don’t get to see him as much as I want. To Levi, this is just fake. We’re not actually dating. He owes me nothing. Not even the friends with benefits arrangement we agreed to.
Although the way he made it sound, like he was a very sex positive person, I thought I would at least have gotten a call or text to come and take care of his needs.
Not that I’ve asked him about taking care of mine. And trust me, I’ve been craving another taste of that man for weeks.
I just, I don’t know. I don’t want him to think I only want to see him for sex. This whole plan of making Levi fall for me so we can really be together is bombing. Big time.
Maybe I need to face the fact that Levi really isn’t wanting or ready for a relationship. He did say as much after all.
I should save my heart and just accept whatever I can get as friends and move on.
Only I don’t want to move on. Levi is the one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted to be mine. The best I could probably do is wait until he’s ready.
Or, you could be a man and tell the guy how you really feel.
Yeah, no, that sounds terrifying.
