She smiles and pats my hand. “I see how happy you are with him.” Nan looks over to where Austin is. He’s hanging out with my younger cousins now, playing some sort of monster game and letting them climb all over him. He doesn’t care at all, a big smile on his face, and fuck, it melts my damn heart. “I’m glad. He’s good for you. You're good for him, too.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, emotion clogging my throat.
“I’m proud of you,” Nan says, surprising me.
“What for?”
“For seeing your worth.” She smiles. “That ex of yours.” She shakes her head. “He was a real wicked man. I saw how he drained you. How he put my grandson down.” She looks pissed. “I never liked the fucker.”
My eyes widen, and I snort out a laugh. “Nan!” I gasp.
“Oh, hush.” She waves me off. “You can’t deny that man was a piece of shit.”
“Well, no.” I agree. “He was. It’s you swearing that has me so shocked.”
“I’m not just some sweet old lady, Levi,” she laughs. “I still have some bite in me, too.”
“I can see that.” I laugh.
“Austin. He’s what you need. He brought back that shine in you. That smile. All I’ve ever wanted for you, for all my family, was to be happy. And that goes for Austin, too. That boy is just as much a grandson to me as you and your brother are.”
Ugh. That means the world to hear. I know it would mean a lot to Austin, too.
“So, when are the two of you getting married?” she outright asks.
“Uhh.” My eyes widen.
“I’m not getting any younger either. I want me some great-grandbabies. So, get started on that.”
“Right. I’ll go out and get pregnant.” I snicker.
“Don’t be a smart ass.” She swats at me.
“Austin and I have only been dating for a few months now. I think marriage is something that’s too soon to be thinking about. Same with kids. Hell, I don’t even know if he wants kids.”
“Look at him and tell me he doesn’t?” Nan nods her head towards Austin. “He’s always loved kids. And I’ve talked to him myself before. He wants kids. A big family. To get married and start a life. He might come off as what you kids call a playboy,” she scoffs. “But underneath, he’s a sweetheart, and a romantic.”
I want to ask my Nan just how much she knows about Austin. How close are they? But I’m too busy watching him with the kids.
He wants a family?
Would he want that with me?
I know I want kids. Lots of them. I love kids.
Could that be something we could have together?
No. Because you’re not actually together. And until you have that conversation, you’re going to be living in limbo of what the fuck is going on and where your life is going.
Ugh. I really do need to talk to him.
The longer we keep this going, the harder I fall. And if this is something Austin doesn’t want, I need to know now, because if I get in too deep, I won’t find a way out.
The thing is, I’m already halfway there.
Chapter 19
Austin