Page 83 of Hooked On Him
Today was fun. Just like all the family get-togethers are. But what made it even better was having Levi there. Having him on my arm felt amazing. Seeing him smile and laugh, just relaxing and being carefree, was just what he needed. And seeing him with his family, I knew they all loved having him there. They’ve missed him, and I think he’s starting to see how much he’s loved by his family.
Since the night I ran into that girl, the daughter of one of my father’s friends, things between Levi and me have been amazing.
It wasn’t just sex, we made love. We connected that night like I’ve never connected with anyone before. It was like I could feel him deep in my soul. I wanted to hold onto that man and never let go.
I know I have to talk to him, to tell him how I feel, but I’m so damn afraid that when he finds out what I’ve done to get him to this point, he’s going to hate me.
I’m just hoping he doesn’t. Because the way Levi looks at me, how he is with me, how he trusts me, I can feel it in my heart that it’s more than just friendship. We have this bond–-this real bond–-that goes beyond friendship.
I’ve fallen so hard for this man; he’s buried his way into my very being. I can’t keep lying to him. We can’t keep letting the other person believe that this isn’t real.
Because it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.
I want to tell him I love him. To bare my soul to him.
He sees the real me, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with me.
And I see him. His bright, beautiful soul. He’s perfect.
I need him in my life for good.
So that’s why I have this big special date planned with all his favorite things. And after we have an amazing day together, I’m going to come clean. I’m going to tell him I love him, and that I want him for real.
It already feels like we’re together, and it’s no longer just an act.
This friends with benefits thing was never that. It was a way for me to have Levi in all the ways I wanted him. And he deserves to know that.
Brogan lied to him, used him, put him down, and I don’t want him to think I don’t respect him. I do. So fucking much.
The deeper we get, the more the guilt is eating at me.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying to him.
And as I sit here, watching him with his cousins, how he is with them, all I can see is him with our kids, playing with them, caring for them, loving them.
I want that with Levi. The house, the kids, the life. I want to marry him, spend the rest of my life making him happy, showing him how fucking amazing he is.
But I can’t have any of that until we talk. Until he knows everything.
And the fear of what he might do scares the living shit out of me.
I can’t lose him. If I did, I don’t think I’d recover.
“Ready?” Levi asks.
We’ve been at the party for a while now. Most of his family has gone home and the sun is setting. It was a good time, and seeing his Nan’s pure joy over my gift was the best feeling. I love that woman. She might be the only person who’s ever understood me without me even having to tell her a thing.
“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “Our baby is probably missing us.”
So, yeah, Peanut has grown on me. I love the little bugger. He really is the sweetest thing ever. Between him and Snicklefritz, I think I’ve become the crazy pet dad.
And I don’t hate it.
“Our baby, huh?” he chuckles as I stand. “We’ve gone from dating, moving in together, then adopting a pet. I think the next step is marriage,” he jokes.
“Name the time and place and I’ll be there.”
His eyes widen, lips part, and I seem to have shocked him. He doesn’t know if I’m joking or not. I’m not. I’d go down to the courthouse and marry this man right now if I could.
