Page 80 of Things We Fake
I reached for a fry and dipped it in ketchup, in slow, tight circles as I watched her. Her eyes sparkled with more than just the light reflections from the stage and the old-fashioned disco ball hanging from the ceiling.
She gulped, looking mesmerized. “I’m starting to think you could make anything look suggestive.”
“Only when I want to.” I leaned back in my chair, giving her a smug grin. “Come on, admit it. This is the best date you’ve ever had.”
“It’s definitely the messiest.”
I raised my beer in a mock toast. “To messy dates.”
She clinked her glass against mine. “To men who like it saucy.”
Yeah, this was definitely flirting. Sue was playing with fire, but I wasn’t sure she knew what she was doing to me. I had to let her set the pace tonight. And hope she and I wanted the same thing—not a fake relationship. Nothing of what I felt for her was fake.
On stage, a scruffy guy with an acoustic guitar launched into a soulful cover of “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Sue bobbed her head with the beat, humming along.
“Are you a Bon Jovi fan?” I asked.
“Who isn’t? It’s practically a citizenship requirement for New Yorkers.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind. Although my karaoke skills are more ‘Sweet Caroline’ than Bon Jovi.”
She leaned forward. “Really? That would be an interesting experience.”
“Not with me sober.” I shook my head, grinning. “Speaking of which, what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in a bar?”
She exhaled dramatically. “Oh, so many choices. But okay, here’s a top contender. Jesse and I were at this dive in Queens a few years ago. We’d had just enough tequila to make bad decisions seem like excellent ones.”
I made myself more comfortable in my seat. “That’s a promising start.”
“You have no idea. So, there was this huge bachelorette party happening across the bar, and somehow—I still don’t know how—I got swept up in it.”
“You joined a random bachelorette party?”
“Fully joined. I ended up in the bride’s professional photos. Front and center. But that’s not the worst part. See, they had one of those scavenger hunt lists, and Jesse dared me to complete one of the challenges.”
“What was it?”
She sighed, then looked me dead in the eye. “Lick a bald man’s head for ten seconds.”
I burst into laughter, holding my full stomach with both hands. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did. And not just any bald man. The one guy in the bar who looked like he could bench-press a truck and had probably killed someone with his bare hands.”
“That lucky bastard. Did you have to sneak up on him?”
“No, because tequila makes me charming. I went straight to him and explained the challenge. He was actually delighted.”
“I’ll bet.”
“He even tipped his head forward to help me out,” she giggled, her face getting red at the memory.
“What did Jesse do?”
“Cackled like a witch and took photos. And then…” She paused for effect. “His wife walked in.”
I wiped a hand down my face. “God, no.”
“Yep.” She buried her face in her hands. “Turns out, she was not part of the bachelorette party and did not think it was funny.”
