Page 16 of Blinded By Forever
It’s about 9 in the morning so I’m surprised that she is still asleep. She usually wakes up around the same time as the boys because of all the noise they make in the morning.
Downstairs, the boys are already gone.
Hayden must’ve taken them to school this morning.
I make myself coffee and eat the pancake that Hayden left for me. There is one also set aside for River.
I silently eat breakfast with my phone face down on the counter.
There was no text or call from Hayden.
An hour goes by and River wakes up crying. So I rush upstairs to her. I hold her against my waist and rock her, trying to calm her down.
“You’re okay baby. Looks like it’s just me and you today again.” I smile and kiss the side of her head.
She clings onto me as I go downstairs to the kitchen. I put River in her chair and heat up her pancake while also heating up a bottle of milk for her.
River babbles about everything and anything while she makes a mess as per usual.
Easton and Junior weren’t this messy when they were babies. River is definitely my wild child out of my kids but I love her and her mess.
“What do you wanna do today, baby?” I ask before opening the fridge. “We can go grocery shopping and maybe buy some stuff for the kitchen?” I ask her as if she’ll answer me.
A little sunshine and fresh air would be good for us instead of just staying in the house all day.
After River is done with her breakfast I give her a quick bath and put on a cute little outfit for her to wear.
While I grab my purse and keys she walks around, touching everything she can in the hallway.
Ever since she started walking, all she’s been doing is wanting to walk around and reach up to touch things.
I grab my diaper bag for River, since she is still potty training, and some snacks in case she gets hungry. I buckle her in her carseat in the X6 M. Usually I take this car whenever we or I go out with River since this is the only car with a carseat for her. We could put her in the M4 but because that car is a coupe it’s a little difficult.
When we get to the grocery store, it doesn’t look that packed, thank God. I grab River out of her carseat and put her in the cart. River hums to herself while chewing her snacks.
She was already demanding more food when we were on our way to the store probably because she wasn't even eating breakfast. She was more like throwing it all over the floor.
We didn’t need much from the grocery store. Just a few snacks, fruits, and fresh produce.
River points to all kinds of snacks she wants and even sees a dinosaur stand that is advertising some cereal. “Rawr!” she yells before giggling, like it’s the funniest thing in the world.
I smile down at her even though that smile doesn’t reach my eyes. I try though, for her and for the rest of my family to pretend that things are okay between me and Hayden even though things aren’t.
As I look through the fresh produce my phone in my pocket buzzes. For a second I think it might be Hayden until I see Rowan’s name pop up on the caller ID.
I hesitate for a moment before answering. “Hey.”
“Hey.” His voice was familiar, reminding me of Hayden’s voice. “You sound tired.”
I don’t talk to Rowan much unless it’s about Hayden. You can tell that Rowan really cares for his family, especially Hayden since he is the youngest sibling in his biological family.
Over the years Hayden has grown closer with his biological siblings while also still making time for the family that raised him over the years. Sometimes Alex and Carter will visit with Natalia and Chris.
“I am,” I admit.
“Hayden?”
“Who else?” I try to laugh but it comes out dry. “He’s back to disappearing again. Late nights with blood on his hands. Vague answers. I’m trying to be patient and let him finish his job but I’m starting to feel like I’m married to a ghost.”
