Page 33 of Blinded By Forever
“Not like this,” I say. “Not when my wife has to tell my kids why I was in a hospital bed with a goddamn tube in my side. Not after seeing Jaclyn’s face like she was so close to walking away from me.”
Killian goes quiet again. The kind of quiet that makes men squirm. But not me.
I’m not afraid of him.
I know how he works and have grown closer with him and his family over the years.
Only thing I could ever be afraid of is losing the thing that is most important to me, and that’s my family.
Jaclyn and the kids.
“I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked,” I continue. “I’ve kept your secrets, fought your wars, and dragged myself home from every mission you threw me into. I did it out of loyalty and out of debt-”
“Don’t lie to yourself, Hayden.” He raises an eyebrow. “Everyone, even Jaclyn knows why you came back to me and that’s because I gave you a reason to keep fighting. Fighting was never enough for you, you always needed and wanted more. You are your father’s son.”
“Rowan put a bullet in my father’s head. I’m nothing like my father.”
Killian stares at me for a moment too long.
Before he nods silently.
“I need you to make a promise to me.”
“What?”
“If I beg you to come back you have to promise me you’ll send me away. I can’t lose Jaclyn or the kids and I can’t keep going back to this life for a small amount of adrenaline. I need to have a calm life with Jaclyn. I’ve already put her through hell and I can’t keep doing this to her.”
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
“She’s the chaos and comfort. A storm and shelter. And every version of me that’s worth saving lives in her eyes. I feel more than just love for her. I’m devoted to her for life.”
Killian looks at me with pain in his eyes, like he understands.
He told me a little bit about his past relationship with Luna’s mom. I know he gets it and he wishes he could have her to cherish and hold.
He’s devoted to her even though she isn’t here.
Before he can respond, his office door opens.
A small blur of black hair and pink barrels into the room.
“Daddy!”
Luna.
Killian’s daughter.
Almost eleven years old and the only person in the world who can make him look soft.
“Luna, che fai qui, amore mio?”he asks, turning towards her. His voice lowered into something warm. Almost gentle.
“I drew you something.” She beams, holding up a crayon-covered paper. “It’s you, me, a doggy, and mommy.”
Killian chuckles and pulls her onto his lap, brushing a strand of her hair from her eyes.
“I see. A ferocious guard dog?”
“No, silly. A snuggle dog.”
