Page 104 of Puck You
“What do we get if we win?”Lydia asked.
At this, Kent looked perplexed.His eyes darted to Caroline for support.She’d clearly taken the lead in planning today’s activities.Kent didn’t have the organizational skills necessary, and Caroline was too much of a perfectionist to let him wing it.
“You get bragging rights, of course,” she said, shiftingaround to face the half circle of competitors.“And the chance to dole out some seriously nasty punishment.The champions get to select one person to shoot the boot, aka, the legendary Adidas.”
A chorus of disgusted groans came from the crowd.“I’m not sure what that means,” Grace whispered, her lips warm against the side of my jaw.
“It means the winner gets to choose someone who has to chug a beer straight from the Adidas that’s been stuck to the floor in the basement since before we started living here.”
The corners of her lips curled down.“Is that safe?”
I sent her a playful wink.“I guess we’ll find out.”
As everyone huddled to speak with their partners, Carolineslipped into the house and reemerged with a massive whiteposter board containing a bracket.The official team names were a mashup of each partner’s first name, and I laughed when I sawGrebwritten in bold red letters across the bottom of the board.A plethora of games were dispersed about the yard, including tables for beer pong and flip cup, one cornhole set, ladder toss (or, as Kent refereed to it, testicle toss), and a large spray-painted circle for beer darts.
“What are you best at?”Grace stood with her feet planted shoulder width apart, hands on her hips and jaw set in a firm line as she surveyed the lawn.She wasn’t just my teammate because she was my girlfriend; she was my teammate because we matched each other in our competitive natures and determination to win.
And hotness.
“Just about everything,” I said with confidence, quickly adding, “but I can be a little heavy-handed when it comes to flip cup.”
She smirked.“You know I’m happy to pick up your slack.”
The games kicked off shortly, but only after Kent’s theatrical countdown and insistence that everyone shotgun a beer.Grace studied me with mirth as I wiped away a few drops of the PBR that had escaped in my attempt.
“What’s that look for?”I asked, pulling her into my arms.She just shook her head.“Come on, tell me.”
“I’m just excited to crush the competition with you.”
“As if,” came a voice from behind, and Sam stepped into view, Bryce trailing behind her.Bram.She barely came past his elbow, but there was determination in her eyes that made up for the lack of height.
“She’s small but mighty,” Grace said, eyeing her best friend carefully.“Do not underestimate her.”
“You better be just as much bite as you are bark,” Bryce muttered, pulling her toward the cornhole set for their first game against Pandon (Pearson and Landon).
Grace held out her knuckles in a fist bump and said, “Game on, baby.”
We took on Mishop (Bishop and Macy) in the first round, lining up across a folding table for beer pong.Things were neck and neck until the final three cups, when Grace and I both sank our shots.On balls back, Grace bounced one in for the win.
“Your team name is stupid,” Bishop taunted in the wake of defeat.
“At least it doesn’t sound like it should be a condiment,” Grace shot back.
The sun beat down relentlessly as Grace and I approached the cornhole set.Kent was stretching in preparation for our matchup, and his overly zealous arm circles nearly took out Nina as she passed behind him.The cursed combination of his andCaroline’s name (Kentoline) was subtle foreshadowing for their disastrous run as teammates, which resulted in more bickering than playing.Grace and I made it to twenty-one before they even got nine points on the board.
Gameplay grew sloppier with each passing hour, the pile of empties growing larger and larger.Funnily enough, there were a few individuals that only seemed to get better the drunker they got.Bryce sank four bags in a row during his match against Mishop, carrying team Bram to victory with little help from Sam, whose motor function was rapidly declining.
The semifinal round was a game of sudden death beer darts with a twist—the highest-ranked team (Greb, of course) received two cans of beer instead of one, increasing their odds of continuing to the final.Within the first thirty seconds, Bryce took a dart to the shin, which was an automatic disqualification for Lyna (Lydia and Nina).
“That’s bullshit!”Lydia shouted as her girlfriend dragged her away from the circle, tears of laughter streaming down her face.
To Bryce’s credit, he didn’t complain.He simply reached down, pulled out the dart, and poured some vodka over the wound without so much as a grimace.
“That was insanely hot,” Sam said, eyeing Bryce like he was a snack.
Grace and I were edged out of the final round by a collaborative effort.Bryce and Landon, despite being on different teams, were determined to see us eliminated.Even with our two-can advantage, we didn’t stand a chance.Not when there were at least four players always targeting us.Though we’d never admit it, Grace and I were happy to escape participating in theshoe race.The only downside was the chance of being selected to shoot the boot.
The basement was large, but it was still a tight squeeze to fit everyone given the sprawling course built from old training equipment and random furniture.Along with an agility ladder and a scattering of cones, there were two tables, a smelly-looking armchair, and a couch that had once housed a nest of squirrels.In the end, Bram won due to a lack of clearly defined rules, because Kent had never clarified that each partner needed to complete the course on their own.Pandon made quick work of the obstacle course one by one, while Bryce just tossed Sam over his shoulder and carried her to the finish line in half the time.Despite an uproar from Landon, Caroline declared Bram as the official winning team of the first and only Beer Olympics.
