Page 77 of Puck You
“When I was thirteen, we won the CCM Denver Dash.I remember taking off my bucket and gazing around the arena after the final buzzer rang.I’d never felt larger than life until that win.And then suddenly, I was looking at my dad in the crowd.The pride on his face, the pure amazement, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced.”
I could feel my heartbeat in my ears just thinking about that day.
“It was the first time I’d seen him since he died.My mom always said that he came to her at random times, like in the grocery store or outside in our old backyard.If I’m honest, I thought she was delusional.But it finally happened to me, and it didn’t take much to realize the significance of him appearing at that very moment.”
My chest deflated as I let out a long breath.
“The first year or so after his death, I felt a bit of resentment toward hockey.He was the one who’d taught me to love the sport, and then he was gone.But seeing his face in the crowd and knowing that he was there for my first big win helped reignite my passion.Being on the ice and playing hockey is how I honor his memory.”
I’d never told anyone that before, not even my own mother.The memory was sacred, like it was only for me to have.But with Grace, there was no hesitation.I wanted her to know why I was so dedicated to hockey.Maybe it could help her understand why I’d been such an asshole when we’d met.
My mind drifted back to the training room at the sound of sloshing water, as if waking up from a dream.Grace was watching me from the tub with wide eyes and blue-tinged lips.She’dbeen in the water too long.
“You should get out,” I said gently, reaching for a towel from the shelf above her and holding it out.Slowly, she pulled herself from the freezing water and stepped onto the mat.I placed the towel around her shoulders and pulled her against me.
“I didn’t know,” she said, turning around to face me.Her eyes were filled with unshed tears.“I didn’t know that your father died.I don’t really know anything about your family, if I’m being honest.”
“This is new, Grace.You’re not supposed to know everything about me.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”Grace shivered, her teeth rattling as she spoke.Once again, I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her to share some warmth.
“How old were you when he died?”she asked.
“I was nine.He died in an ice fishing accident.”
“I get it now,” she said, her breath warm against my neck as she spoke.“I can see how much you love hockey, how hard you work for it, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”
It was a rhetorical question.We both already knew the truth.I loved hockey more than anything, but it was more than just a passion for the sport that drove me to be the best.Every time I was out on that ice, it brought me closer to my father and the dream that he gave up to raise me.All of this was for him—maybe even more than it was for me.
>> <<
Grace
“Don’t beat yourself up.We all have bad days.”
Coach Riley hovered behind me as I pulled my equipment off of the travel bus.I knew she was trying to be nice, but that didn’t make me feel better about my performance against Ohio State.I’d been all over the place tonight.The only reason we’d scraped by with a win was because Lydia had picked up my slack.
“Thanks, Coach.”
I followed after the stream of my teammates funneling inside DuLane.Everyone chatted about their plans for the night as we dropped our things off in the locker room.
“I’m going to stay here for a bit,” I said, glancing over at Lydia as she tossed her warm-up jersey into her locker.
“Is something wrong?”she asked, but I wasn’t buying the clueless act, not after she’d spent all game making up for my mistakes.
“Other than the fact that I tripped over my own skates tonight?”
“Come on, it happens to the best of us.You can’t be perfect all the time.”
“Don’t let Caroline hear you say that,” I muttered.
After assuring her that I just needed a night to myself, I packed up my locker and headed into the empty arena.The chilled air was an instant relief against the heat of my skin.I settled onto the bench, took out my wireless headphones, and selected one of my playlists at random.But after several songs, I realized the music wouldn’t be enough to drown out the world.
Learning about Sebastian’s dad had sent me into a bit of a spiral.After he’d opened up to me, all I could think about was the possibility of losing Gabby.Sebastian’s dad had been gone in the blink of an eye.I might have lived a version of that, but knowingsomeone left versus knowing they were taken from you were two completely different things.
When it became apparent that my headphones were useless, I pulled them off and took in the eerie silence of the empty arena.It felt strange to witness the vast space so empty and quiet.Even during my occasional morning training sessions, there were always staff milling about, preparing for new day.DuLane had been well and truly abandoned for the night, the rink only illuminated by a flickering light from the tunnel behind the bench.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
