Page 84 of Puck You
“You left that part out when we discussed our exes.And the fact that we would be playing each other this weekend.What if the roles were reversed, Grace?What if I spent my time texting Kate and meeting her for—”
“I haven’t seen him since we broke up.”
“It doesn’t matter!”I shouted, unable to hide the anger in my voice.The outburst was a culmination of frustration from the game mixed with the feeling of being blindsided.Had Grace been distant from me because she was stressed about her sister or because she was nervous for her reunion with Matt?I shoved my hands into my pockets and let my head fall back to look up at the sky.Don’t lose your shit,Sebastian.Don’t let her see how much this is fucking hurts.
“I’m sorry.Please believe me when I say there’s nothing more than friendship between us.”Grace paused, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears.“The truth is I miss Matt.He was the only person I trusted in Boston, the only one who was patient enough to break down my walls.When you don’t have a lot of friends, it’s hard to let one go.Especially when they haven’t done anything wrong.I was the one who fell out of love with him.”
I let the truth of her words seep into my skin, the reassurance in her tone slowly smothering the anger inside me.Grace was a lot of things—stubborn, fierce, and even scared—but she was not a liar.I could trust her.I just needed her to trust me.
“Why didn’t you tell me that he still had feelings for you?”
“He’s in Boston, and I’m here with you,” she said, as if itwere that simple.“You are the only person I have feelings for.”
Grace rarely mentioned her time on the East Coast, and when she did, it was always hockey-related.She’d spent three years in Boston, and I knew nothing about that time in her life.
“Can you tell me more?”I asked, glancing back down at Grace.Her mouth fell open then closed a moment later like she didn’t know what to say.
“More about Matt, or more about how lousy I am at making friends?”
The corner of my mouth curved upward.“Both.Help me understand.”
Grace reached for my hand and led me in the direction of her apartment, talking in a low voice as we walked, the sound barely audible over the howling wind.She explained how they’d met during welcome week and laughed through stories of Matt’s terrible attempts at impressing her.He’d chased after her for over a year—a whole damn year—before she even considered going out with him.And here I was, thinking she’d been stubborn for resisting my charm for a few weeks.Though it was unsettling to know that Matt was her first big love, I was glad she could look back on it with happiness.
Grace didn’t stop talking when we arrived at her apartment.She led me into her room, sat down on her bed, and continued to share stories about the two of them and their time at Boston College.When she mentioned struggling to make friends, a sound of disbelief left my mouth.
“I don’t get it.You’re not shy.”
Not in the least.
“It’s not about being shy.It’s about being private and protecting myself.”Grace paused and looked down at her hands.“It takes me a while before I open up to people.”
“Well, you just opened up to me,” I said, trying to instill some confidence back into her.
Grace was always so sure of herself when it came to hockey, and school, and what she believed in.She knew what she wanted, and she went after it.She was a force to be reckoned with, but when it came to opening her heart, there was so much hesitation and fear inside of her.
“That’s why you have to believe me when I say there’s nothing to worry about when it comes to Matt.He stuck around long enough to wear me down, but you?”She shook her head like she was unable to find the right words.“You made me hate you and then want you in what felt like seconds.I couldn’t stop myself from coming to you after winter break because you make me feel more than anyone ever has.”
I’d needed to hear those words, but a small voice in the back of my mind warned me to proceed with caution.Grace was still keeping things from me.Though she had every right to her privacy, especially with matters regarding her family, I wasn’t sure how long I could wander along in the dark.Something was eating away at her.Over the last few days, I had seen the weariness in her eyes.
“Remember what I said?”I asked, cupping her face in my hands.“You can always be honest with me.Please, just be honest with me.That’s all I’m asking.”
Chapter 20
Grace
“You’re going to miss out on an amazing night.”
Lydia was already tipsy.She had downed one hard seltzer and two shots of tequila to pass the time as Caroline finished getting ready for team karaoke night.
“I really think I’m coming down with a cold.”
It wasn’t even a decent lie, but I didn’t have the capacity to care.The past week had been a lot for me to handle, and with Sebastian out of town at an away game, I couldn’t rely on him to distract me with mind-blowing sex.Even though a girls’ night out sounded like heaven, getting drunk while I was on the verge of a mental breakdown was a recipe for disaster.My only plan was to binge-watchGilmore Girlsuntil I melted into the couch.
Caroline strolled out of her room dressed to the nines, wearing a pair of loose-fitting denim pants, each leg a different shade of pink, and a white bodysuit that dipped low on her chest.She looked ever the Barbie, her blond hair slicked back into a ponytail and lips glossed to perfection.Lydia squealed at the sight of her best friend, rushing from the kitchen to crush her in a hug.She was wearing a pair of army pants and a cropped Led Zeppelin shirt, black curls hanging loose around her face.
“You guys better bring coats,” I warned.It was much too cold for only booze blankets.
“Yes, Mom,” said Caroline, reaching for her white puffer jacket.
