Page 39 of Code Name: Atticus
Her eyes met mine.
“Please,” she begged.
I shook my head. “There’s something we need to agree to.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Once we do this, we’re together. Neither of us walks away. Never.”
“Atticus, I?—”
“Mason.”
“All right, Mason. What are you saying?”
Her question relieved me. It meant she was paying attention, not just willing to tell me whatever she thought I wanted to hear. “I’m saying that I want to be with you. However, wherever. You and me. We make this work.”
As the seconds passed without her answering me, the boulder of dread in my stomach became bigger.
I shifted my body so I was lying beside her, and turned her so we were face-to-face. “Brenna?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
I brushed her hair from her forehead. “It’s simple. You tell me that’s what you want too.”
She eased herself out of my arms, turned away, then sat on the other side of the bed with her back to me.
“If this is a game…”
Five words that told me everything I needed to know. Brenna was willing to let me “fuck” her, but nothing beyond that.
I lifted myself off the bed and got three steps to the door before I stopped. I’d hurt her. When she’d thought I didn’t want her. The other time, she’d thought I was playing a game. Then, I had no idea how she felt. Now, I did.
“No,” I said, stalking over to her. I dropped to my knees and put my hands on either side of her hips. “No, it isn’t a game. It’s me knowing I want you in my life, not just my bed. It’s me saying I can’t make love to you—and that’s what it is, Brenna—without knowing that, when this day ends, or this week, or this mission, we’re both committed to more than a pretend marriage, more than sharing sheets for as long as our time in California lasts.”
She didn’t divert her gaze, but she didn’t speak, either. The tears that had pooled in her eyes fell, but no more followed.
“That’s all I’m asking for. Not for you to say you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with me—although I wouldn’t argue if you did.”
She smiled enough for me to see her dimples.
“I just want you to know that I don’t take what we’re about to do lightly. You mean something to me. And I don’t care what Luke told you about my past?—”
Brenna crushed her mouth against mine, pressing her tongue against my lips. Unlike before, where I took charge, this time, I let her.
When she lifted my shirt, I held my hands over my head so she could take it all the way off. Then, when she told me to stand, I kept my hands to myself as she pushed my shorts over my hips. While her eyes widened when my cock sprang out and she realized I wasn’t wearing boxer briefs, she didn’t speak.
“Can I help?” I asked when she pulled her shirt over her head, then reached around to unfasten her bra. She shrugged it down her arms, and then let it drop to the floor.
I swallowed hard, and my hands clenched then unclenched. I wanted to take her soft pink nipples in my mouth and suck on them until she cried out and arched her back like she had earlier, but I waited.
She pushed me back as she got up and lowered her pants.
Finally, when she stood before me, both of us naked, she spoke. “I want more too, Mason.”
Those words ended my restraint. I lifted her in my arms, set her in the middle of the bed, and spread her legs.
“Do. Not. Move,” I said as I rushed into the bathroom, tore open my toiletry bag, and grabbed the packs of condoms from the side pocket. When I hurried back to the bedroom, she was exactly the way I’d left her.
