Page 21 of Undercover Shadow
I lavished attention on one breast, then the other, drunk on the sounds she made and the way she writhed beneath me. The sensation of her nakedness against my own nearly ended things before they’d properly begun. She was so soft, so warm, so completely fitted against me.
“I need you,” she whispered against my mouth. “God, Tag, I’ve needed you for so long.”
Her words left me breathless. I kissed her again, deep and desperate, pouring suppressed want into it as I reached between her legs and her wetness coated my fingers.
I took my time exploring her sex, learning what made her gasp and what made her moan. When I thrust two fingers inside, she was so wet and ready. The knowledge that I’d done this to her, that she wanted me this much, had me on the edge of climaxing again far too soon.
I stroked her, watching her expression as it changed. She was so responsive, so open in her pleasure. There were no masks, no walls, just Leila coming apart under my touch.
“Tag, please,” she gasped. “I need all of you. Now.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, positioning myself at her entrance and forcing myself to go slow despite every instinct screaming at me to claim her.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” she said, wrapping her legs around me. “Please, Tag. I need this. I need you.”
When I pushed forward, discovering how tight she was, everything stopped.
The resistance was unmistakable, undeniable. My entire body went rigid as the reality of it crashed through me.
“Leila?”
I saw the flush on her cheeks, the way she bit her lip, and the guilty look that confirmed what I’d just realized.
“You’re a virgin.” Not a question. A statement. A revelation that changed everything.
She nodded, not meeting my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The words came out harsher than intended, but Christ, what had she been thinking?
“Because you would have stopped,” she whispered. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “You would have done the noble thing and stopped, and I couldn’t bear it. Not after waiting so long.”
“Of course I would have stopped. Your first time shouldn’t be—” I struggled for words, but my brain short-circuited. “It shouldn’t be with someone who can’t offer you a future. You should have someone who can promise you tomorrow and mean it.”
“There’s never been anyone else,” she said. “Only you. It’s only ever been you, Tag.”
My God, she’d been waiting. For me. Only me.
“I didn’t save myself for marriage or for some perfect moment in a rose petal-covered bed. I saved myself for the only man I’ve ever wanted.”
Her confession staggered me. This would be her first time. Her first everything. A memory she’d carry for the rest of her life, and I was the one who would give it to her. Not someone who could promise her forever. Not someone who could give her the future she deserved. Me. A man so damaged by his parents’ toxic marriage that he’d sworn off love entirely.
I should stop. Every shred of honor I possessed demanded I stop, that I protect her from this mistake, from the inevitable heartbreak.
But I searched her face for doubt, for hesitation, for anything that would give me the strength to be the better man and end this. All I saw was certainty. Want. Trust. Even love, as much as I wanted to deny it.
And I was too selfish, too weak, too desperate for her to do the right thing.
“This will hurt,” I warned, my voice breaking on the words.
“I know and I trust you.” She pulled me down for a kiss, soft this time, almost tender.
I kissed her deeply, trying to tell her without words everything I couldn’t say aloud. Then I moved forward again, as slowly as I could manage, watching for any sign of pain. I saw the moment it hit—her breath caught, her body tensed, and her fingers dug into my biceps.
“Breathe, love,” I whispered against her lips. “I’ve got you.”
I held absolutely motionless though, every muscle in my body screaming at me to move. She was so tight around me, so warm, and it took every ounce of control not to thrust deeper.
Her body relaxed gradually, adjusting. Every instinct screamed at me to claim, to take, but this wasn’t about me. Thiswas about her, about making this good for her, about giving her something worth the wait, even if I couldn’t give her forever.
