Page 49 of Monarch
It’s not what I was expecting. And possibly not what I thought I needed – pain, I wanted more pain, more mind-numbing pain – but as soon as I feel the submissive’s soft lips on the back of my thighs, I sigh. My body loosens and sags against the cuffs as she licks across the open welts and newly blooming bruises. When she reaches my ass cheeks, she starts to nibble and bite, and it’s the perfect amount of salt in my wounds. After minutes of these soothing kisses, I’m pushing my backside out for more, for her tongue.
I deserve this, I tell myself.I deserve to feel this good, I find myself thinking over and over again as the submissive’s greedy tongue flicks and licks and laps at my hole. I’m so lost in the mantra, it takes a moment for me to recall who used to say this to me.
Lex.
I stop thinking it. I also stop feeling the pleasure in the stranger’s mouth on me. My body tenses, and I stop writhing. And Mother Maria notices. There is hushed whispering off to my right side, and then the Dominant’s authoritative voice calls out.
“Enough.” The submissive stops immediately. I imagine a faceless person sitting back on their heels, head downturned. “You’ve eaten enough. Now, crawl to me, slut.”
There are more muffled sounds, and conversation picks up in the audience. I hope this isn’t the end for me. I hope somebody else wants to push me that little bit more. I hope somebody can see I needmore.
Lex would know that I need more.
I squeeze my eyes shut so hard it hurts. Fuck Lex. Fuck Lex for entering my mind so confidently, it’s like xe is in the room with me.
Lex isn’t here. Lex will never come here with me again. Lex is not mine, and I am not xirs.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lex
That’s my girl. Up there on the stage. That’s my beautiful girl.
I knew she’d be here tonight. I can’t say how I knew, but I did. I felt as compelled to come here as I do to sit in front of my canvas or a lump of clay and stay there until the work is done.
I also knew I should have called. Or texted. Or something. I should have shown her I was still here. That I wasn’t going anywhere.
That she’s mine.Mine.
But I didn’t.
I tell myself it wasn’t because of what Mari said. It was the work. It was my brain being unable to think about more than one thing at a time when one of those things is my art.
But that’s not true. I don’t actually know why I didn’t call or text. I just know I didn’t and that I’ve left it too late.
Yet I still needed to see her.
Of course, I knew it was possible she came here with Mari – although I don’t see any trace of them in the tables nearest my skulking spot at the bar right at the rear of the room. I know Roos has come here by herself before, with Joel or when he’s working. She knows she’ll be looked after here, and as I expect, Mother Maria is treating her perfectly well. She struck Roos beautifully, her wrist movements fluid and strong. And that pretty little blonde submissive ate Roos’ ass so hungrily and dutifully, it made my cunt ache. And wet. It made me very wet. But I didn’t come here to get off. I came here to watch.
I came here to see Roos and to figure out if staying away from her is really what she wants, what she needs.
“Ah, somebody else wants to come up and have some fun with Roos?” Mother Maria calls out, and my attention returns to the stage. She’s standing at the edge again, talking to somebody sitting at a table just slightly to the side. “I agree, that was too kind on her. She needs more of a spanking. Very well, come on up and deliver your punishment.”
I can’t see or hear who she is talking to, but then a figure stands and starts to approach the stage. The second the stage lights catch the person’s silhouette, my body freezes. That short, messy bob… That full arse and those round tits…
Mari. FuckingMari.
I feel like I’ve been slapped, and I shouldn’t. I lean more weight against the bar at my back, half-expecting myself to topple over as I watch Mari approach Mother Maria, who then takes them to the display of impact play tools. I half-expected Mari to be here with Roos. I knew when they showed up at my studio that whatever is happening between them is more than a one or two-night stand. Roos had told them about being polyamorous. I knew Mari had an interest in kink. It wasn’t an unlikely conclusion to have them come here together.
And yet it still stabs to see them on stage together. It still feels like elastic squeezing my heart as Mari chooses a traditional-looking leather paddle and goes to Roos, pushing up on their toes so they can whisper something in her ear. I still haven’t quite got a handle on a regular breathing pattern as Mari then moves to stand in front of Roos’ body on the St Andrew’s Cross, their hands smoothing over the still red lines and patches on Roos’ arse and thighs.
It's what I would do. It’s how I would touch Roos. It’s what I itch to do, standing at the back of the room, not wanting to move amuscle for fear that would catapult me towards the stage to rip Mari away from Roos.
That’s not the only reason I’m deadly still. I’m also frozen in place because I want to watch. As jealous as I am, I’m also intrigued. I feel ravenously greedy, in fact, in how I want to know what’s going to happen next. I daren’t blink and miss anything about the scene playing out in front of me.
Not that it’s much of a performance. It’s pretty clear this is Mari’s first time up on a stage in a venue like this. They keep staring directly into the stage lights and blinking blindly, adorably using the paddle at one point to hide their eyes. And they’re talking quietly, not matching Mother Maria’s stage voice or the way Roos dutifully raised her volume so we could hear her words of consent and her yelps of that heady mix of pain and pleasure once the strikes began. The lack of explanation from the stage and the hesitancy with which Mari moves – still stroking Roos’ backside, although even I can see Roos is restless and desperate for more – has the audience chattering amongst themselves.
I look at Mother Maria, imploring her to take control with a beady stare that she is, of course, oblivious to. It’s like Mari needs to be told what to do just as much as Roos does.
