Page 69 of Monarch
If Mari is hurt by this, they don’t let it show. They look down at their hand, and they keep up the pace I set. We both drift back to watching the stage as Lex also picks up xir pace. Xe is fucking Anneke in earnest now, a sheen of sweat coating xir forehead.
God, xe looks so hot. Fully dressed but with a harness on and xir hands holding Anneke, who looks like she is going to come at any moment.
I slide my hand inside the bodice of my top and squeeze one of my nipples. I pinch it so hard, it hurts, and yet it’s still not enough.
When Mari twists their body and brings their other hand between my legs, I catch their eye. The sound of Lex fucking Anneke, who moans and moans and moans, fills my ears. I imagine the second hand on me is not Mari’s but Lex’s. I imagine both of them working together to get me off.
Yes, that’s it. That’s what I need.
My head falls back and my eyes close again. I hear Anneke climax a moment before my own orgasm takes hold of me. And that’s exactly what it does. It snatches, grabs, seizes me. It has me forgetting anything and everything but the pulse of my heartbeat between my legs and the tight grip of Mari’s hands – or in my head, Mari and Lex’s hands – on me. Orgasms have changed since I’ve been on HRT, and they are far from reliably all-consuming, but this one… This one has me in its clutches for several long, blissful seconds.
I open my eyes and look at the stage. Lex is fucking Anneke slowly now, gently almost. Like xe is rewarding xem for coming, and it kills me. It always did kill me when Lex was kind.
I grab the napkin from under my drink and hastily wipe myself and Mari’s hand clean. I do my trousers up and stand.
“Where are you… Are you okay?” They look up at me.
“Let’s get out of here. I need to give you aftercare,” I tell Mari, who is giving me a very confused look.
“It’s… Roos, wait, it’s okay. I’m okay.”
“I want to,” I say, a little louder, but the general noise in the room is picking up, and I hope it dulls the hard edge in my voice. I come to the conclusion that it did not when Mari promptly stands and nods at me, their confusion turning to concern.
“Of course, yes, let’s go.” They hold out a hand, and I take it. We’re at the opposite end of the room to the door, and it takes some time to navigate our way across on account of the bar becoming flooded with suddenly thirsty patrons, and several of them in the queue are lost in conversation. It’s palpable, the fact that we were all deeply affected by what we just saw.
When we finally make our way to the exit, I yank the door open and hurry outside into the corridor. I stop suddenly when I see Lex standing in front of the door, talking to Anneke. I stop so suddenly, Mari crashes into my back.
“Fuck, sorry, I – ” They step to the side and see why I’ve stopped. “Oh.”
Lex gives us both an assessing look and then hands what looks like a business card to Anneke, who is in a robe like Mari’s and holding the dress she took off.
“There you go,” xe says with a side smile. A flirtatious side smile. Anneke blushes, grins back, and then slinks away, back into the room we’ve just left. Part of me wants to rush after her, to escape whatever confrontation this is and will become. Another part of me wants to kneel at Lex’s loafered feet.
But I don’t move. I don’t do anything but hold my ground. And my breath.
And I wait for Mari or Lex to break the silence.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mari
“So,” Lex says slowly, like xe is still up on that stage, entertaining xir masses. “Did you enjoy the show?”
Roos flinches. Our palms are slick with sweat, held together.
“We were just on our way to an aftercare room,” I explain, ready to lead Roos away, but when I take a step in that direction, Roos is frozen in place. “Come on, Roos.”
She doesn’t move. Her eyes are fixed on Lex. They look strangely glossy and empty.
“You came,” she says eventually.
And that confirms why Lex showed up and why Roos knew about it. She invited xem. My shoulders sink, and my whole body feels heavier than it did a moment ago.
“I’m glad I did.” Lex has the nerve to look me up and down. “You play well together.”
From anybody else, it’s the kind of compliment I’d store away somewhere easily accessible. But from Lex’s mouth, it feels like it’s laced with poison.
I thought I was getting over this. I thought we shared a different kind of tension while I was doing xir tattoo. I thought I was going to be able to move past this, if Roos is going to be in my life and Lex is to be in hers. But now…now I’m not so sure.
