Page 91 of Monarch
When Roos’ hand dips between my legs, I groan so deeply and loudly that it vibrates through my chest. There are murmurings from the audience in the silence that follows, and it reminds me that we are not alone. That there are others watching this. That we are all on show. I had truly almost forgotten.
I know my boxers are soaking; I can feel Roos playing with the wet patch there. I wonder if Lex is, too. I certainly know xe is enjoying Roos’ touch just as much as I am. Xir eyes are still closed and xe has started rocking back and forth slightly, chasing more rhythm, more friction, more Roos.
“You’re both so wet,” Roos says. “You’re both so desperate for this.”
I really am, which is why it’s a relief when Roos slides her hand inside my boxers and finds my clit with two fingers. With Lex on my right, I know I’ve drawn the short straw, and it’s Roos’ left hand working away, but I’m so turned on, it’s arguably a good thing. If I had Roos’ dominant hand on me right now, I think I would have already come. Twice.
As it is, Roos strokes me closer and closer to a climax that I know is going to take over my whole body while I watch Lex actively chase xirs, like xe is a wild horse that’s been set free. Xe is bucking and bolting, pushing back against Roos’ hand, and I wish I could look back. I wish I could see Roos’ face as she fucks us both, but I daren’t break Roos rhythm, ruin Lex’s climax, or risk another strike to my stinging flanks. Instead, I rock gently against Roos’ fingers while watching Lex moan xir way to an orgasm I can almost feel in my own body.
Maybe that’s why I’m smiling, because I feel xir pleasure viscerally, but I almost wish I wasn’t when Lex finally opens xir eyes as xir mouth also falls open. Xe stares right at me,intome, as xecomes, a strangled moan announcing the fact as xe starts to shake in earnest.
Xe stays like that, slack-jawed and looking right at me, as tears squeeze out of the corner of xir eyes. For many long seconds, Lex trembles and twitches and groans and moans, before finally, xe collapses onto xir forearms, xir head against the stage floor.
I want to scoop xem up. I want to cradle xem in my arms. I want to kiss away those tears. I don’t care about my orgasm. I don’t care about the audience. For a heartbreaking second, I don’t even care about Roos. I just care for Lex.
Lex, Lex,Lex.
But something holds me back, and I don’t move. I stay where I am rocking against Roos’ hand until, that is, she slides two fingers inside me. It takes me a heady second to realise it’s her other hand, the one that fucked Lex, and fuck, if that doesn’t make my cunt instantly swell. I want to swallow those fingers that fucked Lex. I want Lex’s arousal to mix with mine. I want it to stay there so later I can dip my fingers into myself and taste us both blended together.
And that does it. That takes me over the edge. I writhe into Roos’ hand, and I throw my head back. My cunt starts to spasm, and it feels like the contractions spread up into my body and down my legs. I feel like I am my orgasm, wild, free, strong, powerful and uncontrollable.
I’m only vaguely aware of Roos’ hands leaving my cunt and then of her touch on my backside again, stroking and soothing the pain that has already faded into an almost comforting, dull ache. Suddenly, I know why Lex just collapsed because my arms too can no longer hold my body up. As the last tremors of my orgasm fade away, I fall to the stage and roll onto my side, facing Lex, who has turned xir head to look at me. We share more eye contact – just as intense, but now more knowing, more aware than before – and I smile atthem. When xe smiles back, it feels like we have said a million things to each other.
“You did so well,” Roos says, and she has moved to kneel in between us. She strokes my hair away from my face, and I see her glide the back of her hand against Lex’s cheek.
Xir eyelids flutter, but xe keeps looking at me, xir smile loose and relaxed.
“I’m so proud of you both.” Roos adds.
And with xir eyes on me, I find Roos’ right hand, and I bring it to my mouth. I suck on her fingers, sticking my tongue between each one, tasting us, xem and me, and Lex watches so absorbedly xe forgets to blink. When xe finally closes xir eyes, I’m shocked to see another tear escaping. I’m even more shocked when I drop Roos’ hand, push up, and lean over so I can kiss it away.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Roos
There was a moment up on that stage when I wasn’t sure how we would get Mari and Lex to an aftercare room. And immediately after that, I had another moment when I didn’t want to move Mari and Lex. The way Mari had their arm around Lex, kissing and licking xir tears off xir face, it was a scene I never thought I’d see. It was a scene that made me fall deeper in love with both of them.
Because of course I’m in love with them both. How could I not be, after everything they’ve done for me the last few months? How they’ve shown up and stayed put.
Maybe I should give Lex longer to prove xemself. Maybe I should give Mari and me more time to get to know each other during a less turbulent time. But I can’t deny how I feel, and having them both at my feet, bent over for my pleasure? It’s too late. I already love them both with my whole heart.
But we had to leave the stage. It was somebody else’s turn to have fun, and with Bo and Mother Maria’s help, we managed to lift their limp bodies and lead them to an aftercare room.
That’s where we are now. I’ve already showered with Mari, taking great care to wash their red arse and thighs. Taking my time running water and my hand between their legs. Kissing them slowly, lazily under the water’s spray. After, I laid them on the bed and dried them as delicately as I could. Their eyes were already growing heavy as I applied aloe vera balm to their flanks, and by the time I had moisturised their feet and hands, they were already asleep.
I had thought about suggesting we all shower together, all three of us. After what I’d seen at the end of our scene, it seemed like a good idea. But I didn’t want to push things. I didn’t want to push my luck. I didn’t want to push them to a place so far away, we couldn’t return to whatever olive branch that moment had been. I’ve left it up to Mari and Lex to sort out their issues thus far, and I sense I’m right to continue doing so.
And now I’m showering with Lex. In silence, I wash xir body with the same gentleness I did Mari’s, and just like Mari, Lex is watching me sleepily, eyes half-closed, xir body swaying under the shower head. I have so many questions for xem. I want to know why xe chose to submit tonight. I want to know what it felt like. I want to know why xe started crying at the end. Was it just the power of the scene, or was it something else? I want to know what xe was thinking when Mari started kissing xir tears away.
But I don’t say anything. I stick to my obligation of washing and soothing and taking care of Lex, which I do as I turn the shower off, wrap xem in a fluffy towel, and lead xem to the bed where Mari is softly snoring.
I dry xem off as xe stands at the foot of the bed completely naked. Even this is a rare act of submission by Lex, to stand in front of me totally still and with no clothes on. I savour it. I wish I could tell xem how it makes me feel so much closer to xem. I wish I could ask – no, beg – xem to stay this open, this vulnerable, this raw with me, but that would feel wrong. I know better than most that you cannot mould somebody to your own desires and wishes.
When Lex is dry, I tell xem to lie on xir front on the bed and I go about applying balm to xir wounds. To my horror, there are slightly more on xir backside and upper thighs than on Mari’s, and I realise that’s because xe was on my right, taking the full impact of my dominant hand. I take extra time, softly rubbing in the aloe vera, andI bend and kiss the rawest marks on xir flesh. Each time I do, xe shivers, and I want to bottle up how that makes me feel.
“You want me to moisturise you too?” I offer.
Lex turns xir head towards me, giving me xir side profile. “No, thank you,” xe says in a quiet voice. “I think I just want to lie here.”
