Page 101 of Monarch
Roos
Chapter Forty-Four
Mari
One Month Later - November
“Fuck, Mari, you look…” Roos’ words drift into silence, and her eyes drift down my body, looking hungrier by the second.
“You don’t look so bad yourself.” I nod at her from across the changing room in QISS. She’s in lingerie – black satin with lace – and the rope work I did on her layers over it perfectly, accentuating her breasts, her slim waist, and her long, lean legs. Her make-up is flawless, and she’s wearing a new blonde wig that’s a sharply cut bob with a heavy fringe, making her look both elegant and sexy as fuck.
Feeling more masc today, I’m in boxers and a tight, flattening sports bra, but the ropes on my body provide definition to my chest, hug my waist, and frame my hips. I love to feel both masc and submissive, and that’s exactly the gender euphoria I’m experiencing in this moment as Roos continues to stare at me.
“I think that shibari course was the best thing we ever did,” I say.
“Just wait until I have your hands tied behind your back and you bent over my knee.” Roos steps closer, but the fact she doesn’t touch me, just lets me feel her body heat while giving me a meaningful look, is hotter than if she grabbed me by the neck and shoved her mouth on me. It’s while I’m looking up at her that I see something flash in her eyes, breaking her composure for a fraction of a second.
“You’re still hoping xe comes,” I say. We talked about it at length last night.
We played the Imagine game that Roos and Lex play, creating endless imaginary scenarios where Lex shows up at QISS tonight and xe takes us both in hand. Xe shows us just how much xe has missed us by flogging us, hurting us, pushing us, teasing us, taking us to our edge and beyond.
I haven’t told Roos that in the warm autumn light of this morning, I didn’t feel so confident. I still don’t feel confident. I feel like if Lex shows up, and that is an if of a great magnitude, it doesn’t mean we’ll get what we want. It doesn’t mean Lex has an explanation that will satisfy us. It doesn’t mean we will all three of us waltz into the sunset hand in hand in hand.
“I feel it in my bones,” Roos says, her eyes wide and bright. “I can’t explain it, I just know xe is going to be here tonight.”
I understand what she means. I’m a person who looks for signs and feelings and omens everywhere. But I’m not feeling it tonight. Fate is not giving me any clues, and I’m grateful for it. It’s keeping my head clear and my feet firmly on the ground.
“And is that enough?” I ask. “If xe is here but doesn’t have apologies or reasons or excuses?”
Roos blinks at me, and her brightness dims a little. “Why wouldn’t xe want to apologise or explain?”
I give Roos a look. “Because it’s Lex.”
“But xe was changing. Those months we all spent together…” She trails off, and I know why. Because she’s starting to doubt herself, too. What are a few months compared with years of avoidant behaviour?
I lift my hand and cup Roos’ cheek. She immediately leans into it. “Just please don’t get your hopes up. I don’t want you to get upset when xe isn’t here.”
Roos nods into my hand. “Okay.”
Right on cue, there’s a knock on the door, and Joel’s voice carries through it. “Roos, Mari, we’re ready for you!”
I frown at Roos. “I didn’t know we were on a schedule.”
Roos shrugs. “Maybe they’ve organised something special for my birthday.”
“We’re coming,” I call out, and after checking myself in the mirror one final time, I hold my hand out to Roos and lead the birthday girl out into the lobby.
It’s only when we’re halfway up the stairs that I realise the club isveryquiet. Not that there’s usually much activity in the lobby and along the staircase and corridors once it hits a certain time, but normally, there’s the noticeable hum of people in the building. Tonight – at ten minutes before midnight – there’s just me and Roos walking up the stairs behind Joel, the silence in the building quiet enough that I can hear each one of our footsteps.
“Where is everyone?” I ask Joel.
“You’ll see,” he says without looking back. I can hear the crafty smile in his voice.
Joel and I have become good friends over the last few months. It’s hard to imagine him and Roos playing together, which apparently they have in the past, as now he’s much more like a brother to her. I have to trust therefore, that whatever is happening, he’s not leading us into something we aren’t ready for.
When we get to the first floor and the double doors leading to the public playroom, I’m surprised not to see Bo or anyone else manning the doors, which are wide open.
Joel turns just before the entrance and faces us, looking devilishly handsome in his black suit. “Are you both ready for this?” he asks.
