Page 100 of Making It Burn
“Has he tried to reach out?”
“I don’t know.My phone’s been off since Monday.”
“Beau—”
“Look, I know, okay?I’m being ridiculous.”I set the coffee down and dropped my head into my hands.“But I can’t...you know, hear him tell me it’s over.I can’t hear him say that this—us—is too hard or too complicated or too risky.I’d rather just...not know.”
“That’s not fair to him.Or to you.”
“Nothing about this is fair, Lisa.”My voice cracked.“I fell in love with someone who can’t love me back.At least not the way I need him to.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I told him I loved him, and he said nothing.He panicked at the party, looked like he was going to pass out at the thought of kissing me in front of people.The writing’s on the wall.”
Lisa was quiet for a moment, then reached over and turned on my phone.“You need to at least check your messages.”
“I don’t—”
“Beau.Check your messages.”
I picked up the phone reluctantly, watching as it powered on.Notifications flooded the screen—texts, missed calls, voicemails.Most from Lisa.A few from my mother, probably about Christmas plans.Several from Mason.
My heart stuttered.
“What do they say?”Lisa asked gently.
I opened the messages from Mason.
Sunday, 11:47 PM-
Can we talk?Please.
Monday, 8:23 AM-
I know you need space.I’m trying to respect that.But I miss you.
Monday, 9:15 PM-
I’m sorry.For everything.For the party, for being distant, for not being brave enough.You deserve better.
Tuesday, 6:45 AM-
Please don’t give up on us.
The most recent one was from this morning-
I need to see you.Please come to work today.Please.
I stared at the screen, my vision blurring.
“He’s trying,” Lisa breathed.“That has to count for something.”
“Trying to do what?Let me down easy?”
“Or trying to make things right.”She squeezed my hand.“You won’t know unless you talk to him.”
“I’m scared.”
