Page 103 of Making It Burn
“You.”Mason’s voice cracked.“Beau, it’s you.You’re the most important thing.And I’ve been so busy trying to keep you safe—keep us safe—that I never stopped to realize I was the one hurting you.”
Tears burned behind my eyes.“You really hurt me.At the party.On the terrace.All those weeks of sneaking around like I was something to be ashamed of.”
“I know.And I’m so sorry.”Mason moved closer, and I let him.“I wasn’t ashamed of you, Beau.I could never be ashamed of you, but I was ashamed of myself.Of my cowardice, and inability to be honest about who I am.”
“And now?”
“I’m being honest with you now.”His fingers were cold and shaking.“Beau, I am head over heels in love with you.I was scared when you first said it on Saturday night.But I should have said it a hundred times before that.I love you.”
The words hit me like a physical force.“Mason—”
“I’ve put you through hell these past few weeks, and don’t deserve another chance.But I’m asking for one, anyway.”His grip tightened on my hand.“I want to be with you.Really be with you.No more hiding.No more secrets.I want to hold your hand in public, and take you to dinner without worrying who sees us.I want everyone to know you’re mine and I’m yours.”
I pulled my hand away, and Mason’s face fell.
“I need to know you mean that,” I breathed.“Because, Mason, I can’t do this again.I can’t go back to blow jobs in supply closets and keeping a careful distance and pretending we’re just colleagues.I can’t keep loving someone who won’t let me.”
“I know.”
“So when you say you want to be public, you mean it?You’re ready for people at the firm to know?For your father to know?For the world to know?”
“Yes.”No hesitation.“My father already knows.I told him about you.Not your name, but that I’m in love with someone from work.Someone who makes me happy.Someone I almost lost because I was too scared to fight for us.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me not to make his mistakes.Not to let fear or pride cost me the person I love.”Mason’s voice was rough.“And he was right.I almost lost you because I was too afraid to be honest.Too afraid to choose you over my comfort.But I’m choosing you now, Beau.I’m choosing us.”
I wanted to believe him.God, I wanted to believe him so badly.But words were easy.Words were safe.
“I need to see it,” I said finally.
Mason blinked.“What?”
“I need to see that you mean this.That you’re really ready.”I took a breath.“Actions, Mason.Not just words.I need you to show me you’re all in.”
“How?Tell me what you need and I’ll do it.”
“I don’t know yet.”I wiped at my eyes, frustrated with myself for crying.“But I need proof.I need to know you’re not going to panic the next time someone asks questions or puts us under mistletoe or sees us together.”
Mason nodded slowly.“Okay.That’s fair.What if—” He paused, thinking.“What if we tell the firm?Together.Before the holiday break ends.”
“You’d do that?”
“Yes, immediately.”His voice was steady.“We can tell Carter and Patsy.Or we can wait until after Christmas.Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“And if they have a problem with it?”
“Then we deal with it.Together.”Mason stepped closer again.“Beau, I know I fucked up.I know I hurt you, and I have a lot to prove.But I meant what I said.I love you.And I’m going to spend however long it takes showing you that I’m serious about us.”
I looked at him—really looked at him—and saw something I hadn’t seen before.Certainty.Determination.A resolve that comes from making an actual decision instead of just reacting to fear.
“I love you so much, Mason,” I whispered.
“I know.I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing and start showing me.”I reached out and straightened his tie, the gesture intimate and familiar.“You say you’re ready.Prove it.”
“I will.”Mason caught my hand, holding it against his chest.“Starting right now.”
