Page 86 of Making It Burn
“Oh yes.Keith came over for the game last Sunday.They were yelling at the TV for three hours straight.”Caroline laughed.“It was adorable.”
My father?The man who’d raised me with rigid expectations and unspoken rules about masculinity and success and what it meant to be a Price.The man I’d always assumed would be horrified if he found out his son was gay.
That man sat on a couch with Scott’s husband and yelled at football games?
“Mason?You okay?”Caroline was looking at me with concern.
“Yeah.Sorry.Just...surprised.”
“Well, you know Frank.He’s not great at mentioning personal stuff.”Caroline’s expression turned thoughtful.“But he and Keith really hit it off.It’s nice.Keith’s great—you’d like him.”
Would I?Would I like the man who got to be openly himself with my father while I was still hiding?
The rest of lunch passed in a blur.I contributed to the conversation when necessary, laughed at the right moments, playing the part of the dutiful future stepson.But my mind was spinning.
How did I know so little about my father’s life?When had we stopped talking about anything real?When had I decided it was easier to just...not tell him the truth about who I was?
And why had I assumed he’d react badly?
Scott and Caroline were laughing about something, and I watched them—the easy affection, the casual way Caroline touched Scott’s arm, the complete absence of judgment or discomfort.This was her best friend.Her gay best friend.And she was about to marry my father.
My father, who watched football with Scott’s husband.
What the hell am I doing?
“Mason?”Caroline was looking at me again.“You sure you’re okay?You seem distracted.”
“Just thinking about work.”The lie came easily.Too easily.“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.I know how demanding work can be.”She squeezed my hand across the table.“I’m really glad we did this.I know I’m not your mother, and I’m not trying to be, but...I’d like us to be close.If you’re open to that.”
Her eyes were sincere, almost pleading, and I realized that maybe she wasn’t just going through the motions.Maybe she actually did want to get to know me.
“I’d like that too,” I said, and meant it.
Scott excused himself to use the restroom, and Caroline leaned closer.
“Can I ask you something?And please feel free to tell me to mind my own business.”
“Okay...”
“Are you happy?”Her voice was soft.“You seem...I don’t know.Like you’re carrying something heavy.”
I opened my mouth to give her the standard response—I’m fine, just busy, nothing to worry about—but the words stuck in my throat.
Was I happy?
Yes, when I was with Beau.When I woke up with him in my arms, when he made me laugh, when he looked at me like I was the only person in the world who mattered.
But also no.Because I couldn’t tell anyone about him.Couldn’t hold his hand in public or introduce him as my boyfriend or even admit that the best thing in my life existed.
“I’m working on it,” I said finally.
Caroline nodded slowly.“That’s honest.I appreciate that.”She hesitated.“You know, your father...he’s not perfect.He’s terrible at expressing emotions, he works too much, and he’d probably rather die than talk about feelings.But he loves you, Mason.So much.And I think—” She paused, choosing her words carefully.“I think he’d surprise you.If you ever needed to tell him something important.”
My throat tightened.“What makes you say that?”
“Because I’ve seen how he talks about you.How proud he is.How much he wants you to be happy.”She smiled.
