“No.But I will be.”
“Want me to come over?We can watch terrible movies, eat ice cream, and trash-talk men.”
“I appreciate it, but I think I need to be alone tonight.”
She hugged me tight.“Call me if you need anything.I mean it.”
“I will.Thanks, Lisa.”
I drove home through the quiet Richmond streets, the city lights blurring together.When I finally reached my apartment, I went straight to my bedroom.
The compass sat on my dresser, wrapped in silver paper with a navy blue bow.
So you always know where home is.
I picked it up, feeling the weight of it in my hands.I’d been so sure when I bought it.So fucking sure that Mason was my person, that we’d figure it out together.
But you can’t build a home with someone who won’t let you in.
My phone buzzed.A text from Mason.
Can we talk?
I stared at the message for a long time before typing back-
Not tonight.I need to think.
His response came immediately-
I understand.But Beau—I meant what I said.I want to move forward.I’m just scared.
I know.I’m scared too.But we can’t let fear make all our decisions.
Goodnight, Mason.
Goodnight.
I set my phone down and lay on my bed, still fully dressed in my expensive suit.The compass sat on my nightstand, wrapped and ready, waiting for a moment I wasn’t sure would ever come.
Outside my window, Richmond sparkled with Christmas lights.It should have felt magical, festive, full of possibility.
Instead, it just felt lonely.
I closed my eyes and tried not to think about Mason on that terrace, his face full of fear and longing when I’d said I couldn’t keep loving someone who wouldn’t let me.
I’d said it.The L-word.And he hadn’t said it back.
Was that how Mason felt about me?
ChapterEighteen
Mason
Iwas drunk.
Not tipsy.Not buzzed.Properly, undeniably drunk at eight o’clock on a Monday night, sitting alone in my apartment with an empty bottle of Macallan on the coffee table and another one open beside it.
The same scotch I’d told Caroline my father loved.The same scotch I’d been using to numb myself since I got home from the office.