Page 110 of Trick or Treat Nurse at My Feet
"Do you think it would have worked?" I ask suddenly, setting down my fork. "Me and Tyler. If he hadn't cheated."
Sylas considers this, his expression thoughtful. "I don't know. Maybe." He shrugs. "I was starting to think he might be good for you, before... You know."
The admission surprises me. "Really? Even though he's a frat boy?"
"Even though," Sylas confirms with a small smile. "He seemed to really care about you. That's why this whole thing is so..." He trails off, shaking his head.
"Devastating?" I suggest.
"I was going to say confusing, but yeah, that too." He takes a sip of his water, studying me over the rim. "It just doesn't track with what I saw between you two."
"People show you what they want you to see," I say bitterly.
Sylas doesn't argue, but something in his face makes me think he's not totally buying it. I let it drop. Those photos are all the proof I need that whatever Tyler and I had wasn't real, at least not on his end.
As we clear the takeout containers, my phone buzzes with a text. My heart lurches with pathetic hope before I remember that Tyler's blocked number wouldn't come through at all. The notification shows a different name.
Unknown Number
Hey, it’s Ryan. I heard what happened. You okay? I'm here if you need to talk
Staring at the message, I'm not sure what to say. Texting me from a new phone number is creepy. And it’s Ryan, the asshole who hid me away for months, suddenly cares how I'm doing now that I'm single again? Something about the timing feels off.
"Who's that?" Sylas asks, noticing my expression.
"Ryan." I show him the screen.
Sylas's eyebrows shoot up. “I thought you blocked him? What does the closet case fuckwit want now?”
"No clue." I set my phone down without answering him. "Probably heard I'm single again and wants to check if I'm sad enough to come running back."
"Are you?" Sylas asks, only half-joking.
Thinking hard about it for a second. Would I be that desperate to crawl back to someone who treated me like something to hide? Who always put how he looked to others ahead of me?
"No," my answer is firm. "I'd rather be alone than be with someone who's ashamed of me."
Sylas looks relieved. "Good. Because The Closeted, Limp-Dick, One-Star Sexual Experience was a complete asshole, and you deserve better."
I try to smile because that was one of Sylas's best names for Ryan to date. "Yeah, I thought Tyler was better."
"There are other guys out there," Sylas says gently. "Guys who won't cheat on you or hide you."
My head bobs in agreement, despite how unbelievable that idea seems in this moment. I can't picture trusting anyone again the way I trusted Tyler. The thought hits me with a new rush of sadness, not just for the relationship I lost, but for the guy who'd finally convinced himself he wasn't just someone's secret or experiment.
Thursday morning comes with annoying sunshine pouring through Blake's blinds like the world doesn't give a damn that my life's a mess. I force myself to go through the motions: shower, clothes, coffee, while Sylas bounces around with way more energy than should be legal.
"You only have lab today," he reminds me as we gather our things. "Three hours, and then I'll meet you out front, and we can come right back here if you want."
"I know," while trying to summon some of his energy. "Let's just get it over with."
The walk to campus feels awful. Every step closer increases my anxiety.What if I run into Tyler? What if people point and whisper? What if?—
"Stop spiralling," Sylas says, reading my thoughts. "Wehave a game plan, remember? In and out. No social interactions required."
Nodding, I'm thankful he's here with me. We make it to the Health Sciences Building without anything bad happening, and for a second, I think maybe this won't be so awful after all. Maybe Sylas is right, and people have already found some new drama to gossip about.
"I'll meet you back here at noon," Sylas says as we reach the point where we have to part ways. His lecture is on the second floor of the neighbouring building, and I'm on the main floor here.
