Page 111 of Trick or Treat Nurse at My Feet
"See you then," I agree, squaring my shoulders before heading down the stairs.
Thank goodness the nursing lab is normal. Professor Kilkarney doesn't mention that I missed classes or treat me differently, which I appreciate. For three hours, I focused on practice assessments and reviewing procedures. It's only when class finishes that everything else comes flooding back.
As I head to the locker room to change out of my scrubs, I'm consciously avoiding looking at the locker where I found those damning photos. The space is mostly empty, just a few classmates gathering their things, none of whom approach me. Small blessings.
While I'm changing back into my street clothes, the door swings open, and Ryan walks in.
My stomach drops. It's been a while since I've seen him up close. He looks good, somehow different from the way he was whenever he was in public around me.
"Ethan," he says, his voice softening as he approaches. "I was hoping I'd catch you here."
"Ryan," I barely acknowledge him as I continue to packmy bag. "What are you doing in the nursing building?" With a quick glance around, I realize the change room is empty except for us.
"Looking for you," he admits easily. "I texted, but you didn't respond."
"I've been busy."
He nods, leaning against the lockers next to mine. "I heard. The whole campus is talking about what happened with that frat guy."
The flinch happens before conscious thought, my body's automatic defence against discussing Tyler, especially with Ryan of all people."I don't want to talk about it."
"Of course," he says quickly. "I just... I wanted to check on you. Make sure you're okay."
There's something in his tone, a concern that seems genuine, that catches me off guard. I pause, looking up at him properly.
"Why do you care?" I ask, not unkindly, just confused. "We haven't spoken in weeks."
"I know," he admits, looking a bit embarrassed. "And that's my fault. I messed things up between us."
That's putting it mildly. He dealt with my wanting to be more open by not answering my texts for weeks, then casually saying he didn't think "this thing" was working out when I finally caught up with him face-to-face. Then, somehow, he reeled me back in again and again while always keeping me at a distance when we were in public.
"I was going through some stuff," he continues when I don't respond. "Coming to terms with who I am. It wasn't fair to drag you into that."
"No, it wasn't," I agree, zipping up my bag.
"But I've changed," he insists, stepping closer. "I'vegrown up. Figured some things out." His hand reaches out, touching my arm lightly. "When I heard what that Tyler guy did to you... It made me realize how much I still care."
Looking at him, I'm stuck between not trusting him and wanting to feel anything besides how awful I've felt lately. Ryan's someone I know. Safe, in a weird way, I already know exactly how he can hurt me. No surprises there.
"That's... convenient timing," I say, trying to maintain some distance.
"Maybe," he admits. "Or maybe it's finally the right time for us." His fingers trail down my arm, a gentle touch that I used to crave. "We could take it slow. Do things right this time."
For a moment, a quick, weak moment, I forget what I just said to Sylas, and I think about it. Going back to something familiar feels tempting when you're hurting. But as Ryan keeps talking, the picture in my head begins to fall apart.
"We'd be more careful, of course," he says, lowering his voice. "Keep things private until we're both ready. No need to make the same mistakes as last time by rushing to go public."
And there it is, the same old Ryan wanting to keep me a secret. The difference with Tyler, who proudly showed me off to his friends, held my hand on campus, and never once seemed embarrassed to be seen with me, hits me hard.
"I can't do that again," my head shaking as I step back from his touch.
His expression shifts slightly, confusion replacing the confident charm. "Do what?"
"Hide. Sneak around. Pretend we're just friends in public." Grabbing my bag from the bench. "I deserve someone who's proud to be with me."
"Like the frat boy?" Ryan scoffs, his nice-guy act falling apart. "The guy who cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend? Yeah, he was really proud to be with you."
His casual cruelty hits me like a punch to the gut. "At least he showed me off in public," I fire back, feeling my anger rise. "That's way more than you ever did."
