Page 87 of Trick or Treat Nurse at My Feet
"I care about you, Tyler. A lot." He looks up, his eyes searching mine. "I'm just in my head about everything. The dinner with your parents, Cher, all of it."
"We can work through that," Fingers squeeze his hand reassuringly. "Together."
Ethan nods, but there's still tension in his shoulders, something guarded in his expression. "I need to figure some things out. I'm sorry for avoiding you. That wasn't fair."
"It's okay." It's not, but I don't want to push him when he's finally talking to me again.
"It's not," he contradicts, echoing my thoughts. "I just... I got scared."
"Of what, exactly?" I ask, trying to understand. There's something he's not telling me, something beyond my mother's coldness or Cher's interference. "Ethan, what else is going on?"
He shakes his head. "Nothing important."
"It's important if it's making you pull away from me."
"I'm dealing with it," he says firmly, taking a step back. "I should go. I have an early clinical tomorrow."
I want to argue, to make him stay and talk this through properly, but I'm afraid of pushing too hard. We've barely patched things up; I can't risk breaking them again.
"Text me when you're done?" my eyes are close to begging.
"I will." He hesitates, then steps forward to press a quick kiss to my cheek. "I'm sorry for being difficult."
"You're not difficult," I say automatically. "But I wish you'd trust me with whatever's bothering you."
A shadow crosses his face. "I do trust you. It's just... complicated."
Watching him leave, I feel like we've fixed something and broken something else simultaneously. We're together, but not. Talking, but not communicating. It's limbo, and I have no idea how to get us out of it.
Three days later,I'm sitting on my bed, textbooks spread around me, unable to focus on a single word. My phone sits silent beside me, mocking me with its lack of notifications.
Ethan and I have been texting, but it's all been superficial. How's your day? What are you studying? Did you watch the new episode of that show we like? Nothing real,nothing that addresses the tension left unresolved between us. We haven't seen each other since that night in the study room.
The door bursts open, and Gavin fills the frame, a protein shake in one hand.
"You look like shit," he announces cheerfully.
"Thanks. I feel like shit too."
"Things still weird with Ethan?" He drops into my desk chair, spinning it to face me.
"We're in some kind of relationship purgatory." I toss my highlighter down in frustration. "We're together, technically, but he keeps finding reasons not to actually see me."
"Have you asked him why?"
"Of course I've asked. He says he's busy, tired, or behind on coursework." I run a hand through my hair. "And maybe he is, but it feels like excuses."
My phone buzzes as if summoned by our conversation. Grabbing it, hope flares until I read the message.
Ethan
Sorry, can't make it tonight. Fell behind this week and need to catch up on studying. Rain check? -E
"Fuck," I mutter, dropping the phone.
"That him?" Gavin asks.
"Yeah. Canceling. Again." Falling back on my bed, I stare at the ceiling. "This is what a slow breakup feels like, isn't it? The gradual fade until we're just friends who occasionally text."
