Page 15 of The Devils Melody
The kind that makes me want more even when I know better. That might be the most dangerous part of it all. Maybe I’m more fucked up than I thought.
5
Wren
THE SONGBIRD
4 Years Old
“Wren sweetie, come in here and help me set the table for dinner. Your father will be home soon.” Mommy says as she floats around the kitchen. I hurry off the couch to help her. I don't want daddy to be mad at mommy again for not having dinner ready when he comes home from work. He doesn’t like it when things aren’t just right. He works really hard and says he should come home to hot food on the table every day. He says I should be quiet unless spoken to, and if we loved him, we’d do what he says. I love daddy so much, so I need to listen to him so he knows just how much I love him.
Last time when dinner wasn’t ready, he sent me to my room and told me not to come out or I would be in big trouble. All I heard was glass breaking and mommy screaming. The next day her eye was all purple and she could barely open it. She told me not to worry, though. She said she tripped on the rug. Mommy is just so clumsy sometimes. But I know rugs don’t have fingerprints.
When I make it to the kitchen, mommy has placed the silverware and napkins on the table so I can put them around theplates for us. I lay down the first two forks and napkins for mommy and daddy. I’m about to lay mine down when daddy walks through the door. He slams the door hard enough to make the glasses rattle and swears. I don't like it when daddy swears, but he does it anyway.
“Keep your head down, honey, and just stay quiet tonight, okay?” The scared look on mommy’s face has me nodding. Tears start to form in my eyes and my lip starts to shake.
“No tears, baby. You’re going to be just fine.” She sets me in my chair, the one next to her and farthest from daddy. She walks to the stove as he makes his way into the kitchen and heads towards me.
“Wrennie, how’s my favorite girl doing today?” Daddy leans down to kiss my cheek just as mommy drops something on the counter, making me jump.
Daddy always kisses me before he goes to work, when he gets home, and right before bed. Sometimes, when he tucks me in without mommy, he kisses me on the mouth. I don't like when he does that. But when I said that, he told me to be a good girl and stay quiet and not tell mommy. That it was our little secret.
Secrets are fun, right baby?
I didn’t think so, but when daddy’s happy he’s nicer to mommy and I don’t want him to be mean to her because of me.
I try to keep my eyes on my plate like mommy said, but then he starts yelling.
“What the fuck is this? You made this dog shit again?” I flinch. Mommy was holding a spoon in her hand and stirring the pot, but she’s frozen now. Her face is really pale and she looks sick.
“I-I didn’t have time to go to the store today, but I used thespices you like. It’s just for tonight, I promise,” she says, her voice shaky.
“You promise? What the fuck good are your promises?” The spoon clatters to the floor. Mommy steps back with her hands up. “Please, not in front of Wren?—”
His hand moves so fast, I almost don’t see it. The loud smack makes me jump so hard, my chair wobbles. Mommy falls to the floor, her hand on her cheek.
I don’t understand what’s happening. Why did daddy hit mommy? Why is he so mad?
“You stupid bitch, can’t even listen to basic commands. You’re no better than a whore on the streets.”
He yells some more. Awful words I don’t understand but know are bad. Mommy tries to stand, but he kicks her. She makes a sound like she can’t breathe.
“Stop!” I scream, jumping off my chair. I run to her, but daddy grabs my arm before I can reach her. It really hurts but I don't move.
“Go to your room, Wren,” he says, but his voice doesn’t sound like daddy anymore. He sounds mean and cold.
“But mommy’s hurt—” I try to argue, but he just yells some more.
“I said GO. NOW!”
He shoves me away and I trip, falling to the floor. My elbow hits the ground hard and it stings, but I barely notice through the tears.
Mommy's looking at me now, her lip bleeding. She tries to smile. “It’s okay, baby. Go on now. I’ll be fine.”
She doesn’t look fine, but I listen anyway and run to my room, shutting the door and crawling into the closet. I bury my face into Mr. Teddy Bear and squeeze my eyes shut. If I can’t see it, maybe it’s not real. Maybe mommy really is just clumsy.
Maybe daddy will be happy tomorrow.
