Page 52 of The Devils Melody
“Yes,” she whispers, her voice soft and trembling.
“Are you scared?”
She shakes her head, taking in a deep breath before answering, “No.”
Smiling, I let her stand there in the tension. Let her feel the pull of gravity that’s slowly dragging her into my orbit.
“No one has ever cared about me enough to do something like this. Something so permanent. I’ve always been the throw away girl, just used to be discarded. And after everything with Rich?—”
“Hey, listen to me,” I grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to keep her eyes on mine. “You are not just the throw away girl. Not for me. Not for Nox. That bastard never deserved to breathe the same air as you, let alone ever fucking touch you.
“I don’t know what he did, and you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready for that, but you don’t need to carry the weight of it alone anymore. Not ever. We’ll be here to remind you who the fuck you are. Every. Single. Day. You’ll never be the throw away girl again.”
Her exhale is shaky, like she’s trying to hold herselfback, waiting for me to give her permission to fall apart. And Lucifer help me, I want her to ask for it. I want her to beg for me. Lifting my hand slowly, I brush a wet strand of hair away from her cheek. My fingers linger at her jaw, barely grazing her skin.
“You don’t have to mask your demons with me, Wren. Not when it’s just us.” She’s trembling, but she doesn’t pull away. “If you want me…all you have to do is say it. Say those three words, and I’ll show you what it means to be wanted without being used. Touched without being broken.”
I lean my forehead against hers and whisper, “But if you don’t, I’ll hold you anyway. I’ll still be right here.”
The city rollsby in silence, just streetlights and shadows stretching across the windshield for miles. Wren’s dead to the world in the backseat. Out cold as if none of tonight ever happened, leaving me and Nox alone in the aftermath. This wouldn’t be an issue if he would just accept this for what it is, but he’s too stubborn. Still stuck in his head with what he thinks weshouldbe.
He’s got one hand on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh like he doesn’t trust it anywhere near me. His knuckles are white, a vein pulsed at his temple, and his eyes are on the road like the lines might spell out some kind of answers to questions he hasn’t figured out how to ask yet.
“She’s gonna hate us in the morning,” he says finally, voice hoarse and rough as if he’s been tossing the thought around for too long. “But we’ll still do it again, won’t we?”
I don’t answer right away and he doesn’t look at me,but I could feel the weight of his question. Everything heisn’tsaying. He’s holding so much back, and for what? What is he so damn afraid of?
“She hated us before tonight,” I murmur, staring out the window. “Still came back.”
His grip on the wheel tightens. “That’s not the same and you know it.”
“No?” I lean my head back, eyes closing for a second. “Because it felt the same. The way she looked at us. The way you looked at me.”
His silence cuts deeper than anything else. He doesn’t deny it. Doesn’t tell me I’m wrong. I glance over, catching the twitch in his jaw. “You kissed me, Nox.”
“And you touched me,” he fires back, his nostrils flaring. “That doesn’t mean I know what the fuck I’m doing.”
“I do.” I turn to him fully, my voice dropping lower and softer. “I know exactly what I want. I’ve always known.”
His eyes flick over to me just once, then back to the road. But that one look tells me everything he isn’t saying. He’s confused and scared, but he wants me. So I say the one thing I should have told him a long time ago. Something he damn well already knows.
“I’m in love with you,” I say, more as a challenge, not a confession. Like I’m daring him to flinch. “I don’t care if it ruins everything. I’ve been in love with you for years. But you already know that, don’t you?”
“Don’t,” he whispers, and it’s the weakest word I’ve ever heard spill from his mouth.
“Don’t what?” I press, not backing down. “Don’t say it out loud? Don’t make it real? You think this is something we can keep pretending didn’t happen?”
He slams on the breaks harder than he needs to at the next red light, and I throw my arm back, protecting Wrenfrom flying forward. Is he fucking insane?! She could have flown through the damn window! I look back at Nox with rage in my eyes, both of his hands are gripping the steering wheel and I think he might break it.
“What the fuck, bro. Are you trying to fucking kill her?!”
He shakes his head, trying to find the right words to say what’s on his mind. “I don’t know what I am, Kage,” he breathes. “I’ve never touched a man the way I touch you. I neverwantedto. Not until—” He cuts himself off.
“Until me.”
He nods, almost imperceptibly.
“You don’t have to have all the answers right now,” I tell him, voice calmer, giving him a lifeline. “But don’t lie to yourself about what this is.” I gesture between us with my hand. He looks over at my hand but doesn’t answer. Just shifts in his seat as if the truth is searing through his flesh and he doesn’t know how to live in it.
