Page 138 of I Dream of Dragons
“If you want my alliance,” I say, trying to pull my frayed thoughts together, “you swear to me you won’t harm her.”
His mouth twists in an almost grin. “You’re showing your hand, Phaethon. You aren’t used to playing games like humans and fae are.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” He hesitates. “Our interests align. You don’t need to threaten me or negotiate with me to have my collaboration.”
That’s not what he’d meant to say.
I showed my hand. I betrayed… feelings. Like Jai does.
No matter. His words bring me back to a question I’ve been asking myself: he needs me, the king needs me, but do I need him? What for? To keep Jai sane?
What if I talked to Jai, like she said? What if I tried harder?
“Phaethon,” the king asks, “are you there?”
I push myself up to sit, blocking out her cry for me to stop, the world spinning and fresh blood running down my back. The pain is drawing Jai to the fore, just like it pushes me down when he hurts himself. I growl like an animal.
This is Jai’s doing. This is what happens when you inhabit human bodies, human minds. This… attachment to her is affecting my critical mind.
All the more reason to insist she goes away and be steadfast. Hold on to my goals. She swings my mind like a pendulum when she’s near. Small wonder Jai is so affected by her. Is it some sort of magic? Am I under her spell?
Finnfolk have some basic old magic, more to do with shifting, singing and true name calling. This isn’t making any sense.
Oh, wait…the bond. And also, the small scales on her neck glinting like gold…
Right.As the memory hits me, I wince. Not a mermaid, then.
“Phaethon,” the king says again, and he must like its sound with the way he likes to keep repeating it, “are you?—?”
“Present and accounted for,” I growl. “If you can’t tell me apart from Jai, then your stupidity will be your downfall.”
His face colors. “You will address me with respect.”
“Someone just told me that respect has to be earned.” I bare my teeth at him. “I have no fear of you, kingling. You forget who you’re speaking with. And you still haven’t promised not to hurt her.”
“I cannot hurt her,” he snaps. “She carries my mark. If I harm her, I harm myself.”
“The harm won’t be in equal measure,” I snap back. Does he take me for an imbecile? “Even if you hadn’t admitted as much to Jai, I know how betrothal marks work. You put that mark on her, so any harm on you affects her, but not so much the other way around. That is why you haven’t taken her mark on yourself.” I cock my head at him. “Or is it simply because you never meant it as a betrothal mark but only as a mark of control, as lords sometimes do with their circle of knights to protect themselves from treason? As lords do with women they like to hurt?”
“I never knew…” Her eyes are wide. “That’s how it works? The one-sided marking?”
Anger warms her face, tints her cheeks with pink, puts a fire in her gaze. She is upset with him for the mark, for lying to her. For duping her.
And I am angry too on her behalf for what feels like a violation, and I can’t even figure out why. She means nothing to me. Nothing.
Fuck, as Jai would say. It’s a good, meaty word.
But he ignores her, all his attention on me. “Why are we talking about this and why are you taking her side? You never expressed any interest in my interactions with anyone before.”
“I have no interest.”
The king arches a pale brow.
“State your purpose,” I say. “I need to rest and heal. Not much time is left until the third trial.”
“I have to know if you can open the gates, Phaethon. Time is running short.”
