Page 145 of I Dream of Dragons
“He lied to me,” I whisper, furious at myself for falling for the deception, for not recognizing the real Mars right away. “And I believed him. I let him put that mark on me.”
“A mark only takes if you accept it.” She frowns. “And you did.”
My blood is sluggish in my veins. I feel like I’ve been plunged underwater, to the dark depths of the ocean where everything slows down, even time. “Like a mate bond… but we made no promise. Didn’t exchange blood.”
“An incomplete bond still has power. Has he used your connection?”
He can compel me to do things.I don’t say it, though. And I don’t say that it’s his insurance against Jai hurting him, both of which facts would give her more ammunition against me, making me seem a pawn of the fae.
The exact thing she has been accusing me of all along.
Even a tentative, temporary truce is better than having to fight all the time, although I shouldn’t stop looking over my shoulder.
“You should be careful,” she says. “Not everyone is who they seem.”
“Don’t worry,” I mutter. “I didn’t buy your friendship speech, either.”
She bares her teeth in a sharp grin. “Good. And be wary of Amaryll.” She turns away from the window and me, heading to the door. “Don’t trust her.”
“Why not?”
“Because, girl, she has her eye on the prize. She wants that marriage. And now you have the king’s mark on you, you’re her target.”
PART III
I Dream of Dragons
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
RAE
“It’s time to dry you, my lady, and get you ready for His Majesty.”
I could have wept with relief when Daria bustled in soon after Mera left, bringing with her two maids and two male servants carrying buckets of hot water to fill the tub.
I don’t want to get out of the water, even though it has gone cold. After all, I don’t mind the cold so much. Haven’t done so since I became something other than human.
I sink under, and through the water I gaze up at the high ceiling, distorted and rippling like the surface of the sea.
I’m not human anymore. And Jai knows it. Just like the king has guessed it. Just like Mera knows it.
I’m dying,dyingto see Jai—Mars—but he’s resting, and I don’t know if he’s still Phaethon or not, and I’d rather hide in the tub for a moment longer, letting the water soothe my shredded soul. Avoiding any real conversations.
“My lady.” Daria appears over me, her face a blur, a shifting darkness indicating her eyes and mouth. She bends lower. “How long have you been under…? My lady, you’ll drown!”
She plunges her hands into the water and grabs me, pulling me out. I gasp as my gills stop functioning, my lungs struggling to take over.
“Daria,” I manage.
“What happened? Are you unwell? Did you pass out? I should have been paying attention, I am so sorry, I?—”
“I’m fine.” I turn my gaze away, unable to think of any good excuse apart from,I’m finnfolk, this is my nature now, something I can’t say. Grabbing the rim of the tub, I shove myself to my feet. “Bath sheet.”
“Right away, my lady.” She scurries away to one of the chairs and returns with a large bath sheet which she proceeds to wrap around me. “Let me stoke the fire.”
“Don’t bother,” I say but she pays me no heed, helping me out of the tub and then going to kneel by the fireplace and poking at the burning logs.
Wrapped in the sheet, I stand there, wishing I could sink back into the water. Into dark oblivion.
