“As if a hook sank into me and pulled me out of the dark.”
“Fuck… I wish I could remember what happened that day.” He shakes his head, black hair flying. “I was present during the massacre. Phaethon seems to recall more. Did the king killyour parents? Did he kill your brother, as he killed you? I can’t fucking remember…”
He’s shaking. I lift a hand to his face and his skin is cold. “Shush, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. This is getting worse and worse. The king marked you, Phaethon is stronger, tomorrow is the last trial, and we can’t seem to be able to stop history from fucking repeating itself. You… what if he kills you again? What if he takes you from me? I fucking can’t. Can’t let it happen.”
“What about Phaethon?” I ask quietly. “What did he say about my death?”
“He claims he’s the one who turned you into finnfolk, keeping you alive. I don’t understand how. He’s a Godsdamned dragon-summoning Eosphor. Not merfolk. Turning you into a fish doesn’t make sense.”
“No,” I agree, goosebumps rising on my skin, “it doesn’t. He didn’t turn me into a mermaid, Jai.”
“But he said he was the one who saved you, turning you into finnfolk, that?—”
I reluctantly pull away from him, already afraid of his reaction. “If he was the one who saved me, then it makes sense that I turned into a sea dragon.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
JAI
A sea dragon.
The initial shock keeps me still, pausing my heart for long moments. But of course, it makes sense, and the surprise is washed away in a flood of awareness.
I had felt her affinity to dragons, her affinity to my power—Phaethon’s power that meshes with mine. Being a dragon, she’s a dragon speaker—to a lesser degree than an Eosphor, of course, and even less the first Eosphor. It’s as if they were dragons in another world, changed as they crossed a gate, which is why they can speak to the reptiles roaming the sky. I’m not pretending to understand their origin and why their form is so different, but that much is clear.
“That’s why,” I whisper. “Why you are able to speak to the darakin, and the drak. Remi and Keres. They are your dragons.”
“Youcalled him down,” she objects.
“A dragon, be it a darakin, drak or dara, will only come down if they want to and that only happens if you can speak with them.” I think about this. “This reinforces my feeling that all the dragons are related. The dara came with the Eosphors during the Last Reversal. The darakin insist they are related tothe Great Dara but I’m starting to think they are more related to draks. Some may be born from fiery, scaly eggs and some, like you and I, are souls who passed while fighting and changed but didn’t leave this world.”
“Some dead never leave,” she whispers. “Never cross the gate into another world.”
After that, she’s quiet, probably lost in thought.
I’m quiet too, my mind still grappling with all that has happened, and with the power raging through me, flinging around more and more memories like fallen leaves on the ground, blown about in gusts of wind.
I’m at the eye of that storm, pelted by images and sounds, and it feels as if a spark is being fanned into a flame inside my chest.
Or inside my head? Hard to pinpoint its location.
Its significance, either.
I’m still struggling to figure out what it is. What it translates into. And meanwhile, it’s getting stronger. Hotter.
It makes sorting through my head, keeping my thoughts straight and clear a goddamn battle. Even without Phaethon howling inside my skull, I keep losing track of what I was thinking or wanted to say.
“Remi,” she says, and it takes me a long moment to focus on that. “You said that darakins may be souls that passed while fighting. That some dead never leave. Could Remi be… could he be my brother?”
The bright hope in her voice wakes me up from the daze I keep falling into.
Her brother?
“I don’t know,makhair,” I tell her truthfully. “I’ve never spoken to him much. Haven’t talked to many darakins in my life. Mostly to draks to coordinate the king’s army.”
“But my brother fought. He fought to protect me when the king… the king came for my family. I remember as much. What if he’s back?”