Page 82 of I Dream of Dragons
“Oh fuck.” He drags his lips up to my cheek, and then hisses.
“What is it?”
“Phaethon.” Shards of gold glint in his eyes. “I almost lost control.”
I shouldn’t relish that admission so much, but at the same time, it’s Jai I want to be with. This is so confusing.
I reach for him again. “It’s okay.”
“He’s clawing at the inside of my head. I haven’t managed to put him back into his box. He’s right under the skin of my thoughts. Touching you might set him free, let him take over me.”
“It’s okay.”
“Fuck, it’s not okay. He wants to touch you. He wants… he wants…” He turns away, fingers buried in his hair, muscular body taut like a bow string.
“Let him, Jai. Let go.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
Maybe not. All I know is that I want to see Phaethon lose control, too. I want this dark side of Jai. A different creature he may be, but he inhabits the same mind, the same body.
And I want to experience all of it.
I want both of them. Is that too weird?
“You don’t understand. Phaethon is cruel. He has no concept of his strength. He can’t differentiate between pain and pleasure, which is why…”
Which could be why pain works on him, I think. Why it surprises him so much.
“He’ll hurt you,” Jai says.
“It’s all right. I can take the pain.”
“No, that’s not fucking all right. I can’t trust myself around you because he may take over. I just can’t understand…”
“Why he wants me?”
A curt nod. “He’s an Eosphor.” Said with exasperation. “They don’t even have genders. They don’t lie together. They don’t procreate. Why should they? They don’t die.”
But they do perish from time to time. And I want to talk to Phaethon. Ask about the original Eosphor. Astar.
“I can’t let him have you,” Jai says, strained.
“I’ll be fine. I don’t care.”
“Rae, Godsdammit,” he says, his voice strangled. “Stay away, just… stay away from me right now.”
Too late.
“Beware of beauty, little human lady.”
Way, way too late.
I wrap my arms around him and kiss him, an exhale escaping me, the pressure in my chest turning to light. Reveling in his taste, his scent, the feel of his strong body pressed to mine, in the way his powerful arms encircle me, how his hands slide up my back to the back of my head.
Yes. Yes, finally, finally…
His broad chest expands and contracts against me, his tongue invades my mouth, his mouth devours mine.
