Page 84 of The King's Sword
“How’d he get into the palace?” She kept replaying the conversation she’d heard between Evander and his sister over and over in her mind. While she knew the guards had been called back so Evander could exit the palace without being seen, she didn’t understand how Ex knew where and when he could slip past them to get into the compound. And then once he was in, how he got past so many skilled assassins. Like the assassination attempt back in Lynk, something wasn’t adding up.
Evander sighed. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask about that.” He ran his hands through his hair.
She didn’t respond. Instead, she patiently waited for him to explain.
“I’d rather not share anything with you. At least not until I’ve sorted it all out.”
She was about to protest when he held up his hand, so she kept her mouth shut.
“What I can tell you is that someone let the assassin in. It was planned perfectly with my sister pulling the guards so I could sneak out.”
“Does that mean you have a traitor?”
He looked at her for a long moment before saying, “No. It means I have someone close to me trying to manipulate the situation. Like I said, I’m not ready to tell you everything quite yet. But I do want to apologize for letting him get that close to you.”
It made sense if someone found out about the delegation. She understood someone letting the assassin have a go at her for retribution. What she didn’t understand was Evander not wanting to tell her everything. “Why keep it a secret from me?”
“Because I’m still trying to figure it all out.”
A vague, noncommittal answer. It hurt her that he didn’t want to be completely open and honest with her. Perhaps they weren’t as close as she thought they were.
“Sabine.” The way he said her name sent a jolt straight to her heart.
“Sometimes I don’t know who or what to believe.” While he may not want to be honest with her, she wanted to be honest with him. Tears filled her eyes.
He reached forward and took both her hands in his. “You shouldn’t trust anyone completely—not even yourself. That will keep you alive.”
Then she didn’t want to live. Not like that. A life without trust, love, or understanding was no life at all. “That sounds lonely.” Having grown up in a large family, she couldn’t imagine living the rest of her life alone, never trusting or depending on anyone.
“But you’ll live.” He squeezed her hands.
“You can’t possibly live without trusting anyone.”
“I do.”
“What about your friends?” The ones they’d met last night who’d kept watch.
“Not even them.”
“What about your family?”
“No.” It felt as if his hands shook ever so slightly.
It saddened her that he felt that way. “I trust my mother and father along with my brothers.”
“Don’t.”
“I can’t go through life that way. I have to believe that my family loves me and wants what’s best for me.” She wanted him to understand that trusting someone was part of loving someone.
His eyes darkened. “You’re married to Rainer now. That changes how your family sees you.” He let go of her. “You need to protect yourself.” He rubbed his hands on his pants. “For the first time in my life, I find myself afraid.” He glanced away, as if embarrassed to admit something like that.
“What are you afraid of?” She reached out, placing her hand on his knee.
“I don’t want you to return to Rainer. I’m afraid for you.” He looked back at her, his green eyes intense.
“You have nothing to worry about. Right now, Rainer needs me.” Granted, once he had an heir, things could change.
“I hope you’re right. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”
