Page 14 of My Defiant Mate
"Because you're his RA?"
I nod, the familiar knot of anxiety tightening in my chest.
"I get it," Braiden says, and his understanding surprises me. "When I met Wes, I had this whole five-year plan. Med school, everything. Then boom—one look and everything changed."
I remember Wes, the tall, confident alpha who came to help Braiden move out, who looked at the freshman like he was the only thing in the world.
"Doesn't it terrify you? How fast everything changed?"
Braiden takes a bite of his chips, thinking. "At first? Yeah. It was terrifying. But you know what I figured out?" He waits until I meet his eyes. "Fighting him is way more exhausting than just… letting go. Trust me, the letting go part? That's the good stuff."
Something loosens in my chest. Permission, maybe. Or just knowing I'm not the only one.
"I should go," I say, glancing at the stairwell door.
Braiden gives me a knowing look. "Yeah, you should." He starts to walk away, then turns back. "And Toby? It's worth it. All of it."
I watch him go, his words echoing in my head.It's worth it.
I can't tell if it's taking forever to get to his room or if I'm getting there too fast. By the time I reach his door, my palms are slick with sweat.
I hesitate, my hand shaking as I slide the key into the lock and push the door open.
Jionni is on his bed, back against the wall, a sketchbook on his knees. He looks up, surprise flashing across his face before it settles into something warmer, more dangerous.
"You came," he says, and I hear the relief underneath.
I step inside and shut the door behind me. I lock it.
"I'm tired of fighting this," I say, my voice steadier than I feel.
Jionni sets his sketchbook aside. He doesn't move from the bed, just watches me with that intense, storm-gray gaze. He's waiting for me to come to him. Letting me decide.
I stop at the edge of his bed, looking down at him. At his wild curls and the silver hoop in his ear. At the raven tattoo stretching across his chest, visible under his thin t-shirt.
"I don't know how to do this," I admit, my voice a whisper.
His lips curve into a smile, surprisingly gentle. "Yes, you do," he says. "You just need to stop thinking so much."
I take a deep breath. Then another. He's right. I'm overthinking, analyzing, when all I want to do is feel.
Before I can stop myself, I climb onto the bed and straddle his lap. His hands come up instantly to my waist, warm and strong, steadying me.
"Toby," he breathes, his pupils going wide. "What are you doing?"
"Breaking the rules," I say, and reach for the hem of my shirt.
My fingers fumble, clumsy with nerves, but I get it up. I shrug the shirt off, letting it fall to the floor. I'd normally fold it right away. But right now? I don't give a damn.
Jionni's eyes darken as they roam over my bare chest. His hands slide up my sides, his palms hot against my skin, leaving trails of fire.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his voice rough with want.
I don't feel beautiful. I feel exposed and terrified. But also… powerful. The way he's looking at me, like I'm something precious and wild, makes me brave.
I lean down and kiss him. It's hesitant at first, a question, but when he opens his mouth under mine, everything changes. It becomes hungry and desperate and raw.
His hands tangle in my hair, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. His tongue slides against mine, tasting, claiming. I make a soundI've never heard before, a needy little whimper that should be humiliating, but isn't.
