A war I’m probably going to lose, but still…
At least I’ll go down fighting in sensible shoes.
As soon as I find time to buy some.
Chapter Seven
OLIVER
Three hours.
Just three bloody hours since Emily walked out of my flat, and I’ve already seen enough vile internet commentary to make me consider hunting down every keyboard warrior in Britain and introducing them to the business end of my great-grandfather’s cavalry saber.
What iswrongwith these people?
Don’t they have something better to do than spew hate at a total stranger?
Apparently not…
@BurmingFam: America called. They want their portion sizes back.
@LiamInLondon: She’s giving ‘lost tourist asking for the loo at Buckingham Palace’ vibes.
@Daisy553: American abroad starter pack: bad suit, bad shoes, bad decisions. God, if polyester could cry, that suit would be sobbing into a pint.
@Irish4Fabs: I can’t believe he went from Aisling to THAT?! Please, someone, make it make sense. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!
I scroll through the latest batch of poison on the train, my jaw clenching harder with each swipe of my thumb.
“Maybe because Aisling loved fame more than anything on God’s green earth?” I mutter beneath my breath. “Including food, laughter, fun, and me? And on the rare occasions that she did laugh, she sounded like a constipated horse having an asthma attack.”
The old woman in the big blue muffler beside me shoots a narrow glance my way, clearly wondering if I’m a serious threat or simply a sociopath who doesn’t know how to keep my mouth shut on the tube.
Pressing my lips together, I tuck my chin tighter to my chest.
This isn’t the day to attract attention.
I’ve already done enough of that for one news cycle, a fact proven by the Twitter poll that pops up next on my feed:
@GlitterAndScandal: Emergency poll ladies:
Who styled our randy American?
A) Paddington Bear’s dry cleaner
B) An angry Primark mannequin
C) The lost & found bin at Heathrow
D) Her worst enemy (mission accomplished)
14,002 votes · Final results in 3h
She’d just gotten off a seven-hour flight, lugged her bags through a snowstorm, and crashed through a manger. Don’t these people have any empathy? Or capacity for reason?
And yes, the suit was bad, but the woman herself…
Well, she’s magnificent, truly one of the most beautiful women I’ve met in years. I seriously can’t understand the comments attacking her physical appearance. Are they fucking blind? I mean, Christ, those curves, that glorious Viking goddess hair, those eyes that threaten annihilation when she’s angry and set your soul on fire when she pulls you down for a kiss and?—
