Page 36 of Sleepless in Saunton
Jane leaned forward, but Barclay failed to continue. “Like to court me?”
He chuckled, still staring down at his hands. “When did young women become so direct?”
She drew her lips inward, not responding immediately. Eventually she released the breath she had been holding. “I am not usually so forward, but I find myself …”
Silence fell once more until Barclay cleared his throat. “I simply do not know how this new relationship with the earl will affect my social standing. And you are so young.”
Jane lifted her hand to chew on a nail in agitation. “I would like to try. I have … met no one like you before.”
His gaze rose to meet hers across the table. “Nor I you, Jane. If my wife were still alive … I am convinced you would have been the best of friends.”
Jane tentatively smiled, but she found it difficult to breathe, thinking about that. It was at once both a deep honor and so depressing a thought. If his wife were here, and they were the best of friends, would Jane have been in the horrible position of coveting the woman’s husband?
She hoped not. She hoped she would have the fortitude and honor to simply ignore him as a man who was unavailable. Fortunately, it was a theoretical situation she would never need to experience.
The gentleman’s regard for his late wife was what first attracted you so!
Recollecting the conversation she had overheard here in the library that night when Barclay and Aurora had discussed his situation was a consolation. Without that event, he would simply be an inordinately handsome gentleman attending the house party. Handsome in the same manner as his two brothers—Richard and Peregrine—to whom she had experienced no attraction.
“So what do we do?”
He hung his head to stare at his clasped hands on the table once more. “I do not know. I need to think on it. This whole situation is so unexpected. Just four days ago, I was still in deep mourning for my wife, and now …” He swallowed hard.
Jane felt tears prickling her eyes in sympathy. The enigmatic gentleman had felt loss to such a great depth she could not comprehend it. She had only met him a few days earlier, yet already the idea of his death was too devastating to consider. Barclay carried a substantial burden, and she did not want to pressure him. He needed time to reach his conclusions about how to proceed with this unexpected affinity of theirs, and she would not hurry a man who even now still wore black to grieve the passing of his too-young wife.
“Take your time, Barclay.”
He looked up at her, searching her face. “I appreciate your patience … Jane.”
She smiled, wishing she could reach out and grab him when he arose to leave the room. Pull him into an embrace and press her mouth against his once more as she inhaled his scent of spice, leather, and ink.
But the widower needed time to reconcile the past and the future, so she listened to his footsteps recede as she held a hand over her pounding heart. Damn! He was so fascinating, she wanted to chase him down the hall and fling herself into his arms lest he get away.
CHAPTER10
Barclay knocked on the earl’s door early the next morning. From inside the study, he heard his brother calling for him to enter. Opening the door, he stood hesitantly, not sure what he wanted to say. He needed to talk to someone about his conundrum, and it was imperative he obtain a man’s perspective on his minor crisis. This seemed as good a time as any to lean on their fraternity, considering Tsar was a minimum of two days away in London.
“Barclay, please come in. Would you like some coffee? I just had some delivered a few moments ago.”
He nodded, shutting the door to walk over and join Richard in the seating area overlooking the park. The earl noted he had closed the door with a quirked eyebrow, his green eyes curious as Barclay took his seat.
“Did you have something to discuss?” The earl appeared slightly apprehensive, as if steeling himself for bad news.
“I need some advice. I find myself without a confidant.”
Richard straightened with a keen expression, clearly flattered that Barclay had sought him out. It was rather endearing that his younger brother was working so hard to include him as a valued family member.
He dropped his gaze to study his hands clasped in his lap. This was bloody awkward, but without Tsar to talk to, he was at a loss. He supposed he could discuss it with Aurora, but he found he did not relish it. What he wanted—needed—was the perspective of a steady man. Someone who understood the responsibilities of being a husband, a father, and a protector within the context of their culture.
Moreover, perhaps this was an opportunity to bond with the earl. After all, the gentleman had revealed his vulnerability on the issues surrounding Ethan’s future, so it seemed only fair to reciprocate.
Nevertheless, Barclay was pleased the duke was out riding, so he only had to reveal his thoughts to one newly acquired relative this morning.
“My mother impressed upon me the importance of moving on. It has been two years since … my wife died. We were very close.”
“I regret I shall never meet Tatiana’s mother. She must have been an exceptional woman to have captured the heart of such an intelligent artiste.”
Barclay nodded. “You would have liked her very much. And she was breathtaking.”
