Page 65 of Sleepless in Saunton
“Good Lord, no!” He bit his lip. “I apologize. I just learned of the widow’s philosophy on children, and I am not yet recovered.”
Jane’s brow furrowed in question.
“She advised me to send Tatiana away to a ladies’ seminary in Surrey,” he offered in explanation.
She blinked in surprise. “Why would you do that?”
“That was my question. It was in that moment that I confronted what a fool I had been. Tatiana had warned me, but I did not listen.”
Jane’s gaze dropped to her hands in her lap. “What happened, Barclay? One moment, we seemed to be on the road to … something special. The next, you had disappeared.”
Barclay sighed before standing up to take a seat next to her on the bench. “The morning after we spoke, my mother suffered a great disappointment because of me … Because she is …”
“Unwed?”
“Precisely. It was harrowing to see her so upset … The thought of something similar happening to you was too much to bear. Tatiana says I gave in to fear.”
“Ah … That explains her earlier protest about adults being fearful.”
Barclay glanced up at Hades before eventually replying, “She was right. With Natalya, I loved deeply, and when she … left us … it was devastating. I had no expectations of feeling that depth of emotion for another woman, but then I met you and the possibility of love became a reality. Which forced me to think of all the many ways it would go wrong. The ways I could lose you. Or hurt you.”
He noticed she was blushing, her hands having stilled while she gazed at them unblinkingly. “Love?”
Barclay swallowed hard before reaching out to clasp one of her hands in his. “Jane, I thought my heart was dead. That I would never feel anything again. And then I met you, and life came rushing back. You have captured Tatiana’s heart, and the approval of my mother, but more than that, you have captured … me … my heart.”
She still stared at her hands, but a wide smile spread across her face. “I … am …very pleased to hear that because I must confess you have had my heart since your first night here. I … I …” She hesitated, but when she spoke again, it was in a rush, as if she wanted to get the words out as quickly as possible. “I confess I heard you and Aurora discussing your situation in the library and I was utterly ensnared. I never considered what—who—my future husband would be until that moment, but when I heard you talk of your love for Natalya, I could not help falling in love with a man who held his loved ones in such esteem. It was inexorable. Fated. I could not imagine anyone by my side but you.”
She stopped as abruptly as she had begun, catching her breath in shallow heaves, and Barclay was perfectly captivated. Why had he ever thought she was immature? Jane was loyal, intelligent, and exuberant about life. She cared about other people and did her best to take care of them. What he had seen as immaturity was truly a woman who embraced life with her whole heart, and she could teach him a thing or two about the pursuit of happiness.
Raising her hand to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “That was magnificently said. Much better than my paltry attempt to express myself. But then, you are the poetess, and I am a humble artisan.”
Jane chuckled. “That was reasonably well said.”
Barclay laughed in return, a feeling of lightness stealing over him as he released the past and accepted the future. Turning toward her, he tugged lightly on the hand he clasped to pull her into his arms. Staring down into her eyes, he gently cupped her head and brought his mouth down to hers, seeking her silky softness.
* * *
In that moment,desire awakened, and Jane exhaled in elation. Barclay quickly slipped his tongue between her lips to tangle with hers, as he had done the other night. She was familiar with such kissing before Barclay had surprised her with it in the library because she had inadvertently witnessed Emma and Perry in a passionate embrace before she had discreetly reminded them of her presence with a determined snore a few weeks earlier. They had both seemed quite taken, so Jane had imagined they must find it pleasurable in some manner.
With the wrong man, the thought of entangling tongues seemed grotesque. But with the right man … with the right man, all thought was lost as her blood heated in response. She was fascinated by Barclay, by his scent and his heated skin and his rough beard against her face.
With the right man, she could do this forever.
Barclay was at once both hard and gentle. Fragrant with tea, leather, and spice, while masculine with a hint of salt and ink. He was rough with beard and thick hair, her fingers having found their way to combing through his dark locks, while his skin was smooth and the fabric of his waistcoat felt fine to the touch.
He was everything she had imagined in a man, and so much more. Which was why she protested when his mouth left hers, but grew distracted when he pressed kisses along her jaw to nibble on her earlobe. The tingling sensation this engendered was as unexpected as it was intense, racing across the surface of her skin to shoot all the way down to her toes, and she moaned in ecstasy as she pressed against him in craving.
Barclay pulled away unexpectedly, panting as he shifted back several inches, his face flushed with the power of his own passions which Jane observed with great relish while she, too, panted for her breath. Her own skin was warmed from within, every part of her body awake and aware of his. She would have leapt right back in his arms, but he seemed to be attempting to speak, so she waited impatiently.
Slowly, his flush receded, and his breathing settled. “I should be clear about my intentions.”
Jane quirked an eyebrow in amusement, but waited.
“Miss Jane Davis, will you do me the honor of accepting me as your future husband?”
She beamed. “As soon as possible. I am more than ready to assume the role of your new wife.”
He grinned, flashing white teeth against tanned skin. Barclay was not a nobleman. He was a man who worked for his living and did it well. She looked forward to seeing his works as a partner who traveled at his side.
