Page 66 of Sleepless in Saunton
“And to be clear, you are accepting the role of my little one’s mother? You will love her as your own?”
Jane felt tears springing into her eyes as she laughed in joy. “I would be honored to do so, if that is what Tatiana wants.”
Barclay exhaled, shaking his head. Jane watched that long length, and her fingers itched to take him back to the manor so she might trim that clean but unattended hair, as she had thought of the first time she had seen him descend from the carriage. “Tatiana wants that very much. She has campaigned for you every moment we are together. I suppose she recognized this bond between the three of us with far more intelligence than I.”
“She is very bright,” agreed Jane. “Will we be traveling with you?”
“Of course. If that is what you want, I would love to have you accompany me. I miss introducing Tatiana to my world, and I would certainly enjoy your company.”
Jane rubbed her hands together, barely able to contain herself that so unexpectedly the world had righted itself and she was to have the future she had envisioned with Barclay at her side. “And when shall we marry?”
“As soon as we can gather our families together.” His expression of contentment faded. “Which means I must now inform the earl that I have been bewitched by the young lady in his care who has not yet reached her majority.”
* * *
Takingsome time to enjoy the grotto with Jane, while dreading the forthcoming meeting with Richard, it was all he could do to hold on to the magic of the moment as long as he could. While they were here, they were enwrapped in the magic of the caves with their silent witnesses carved from marble and stone. Once they left … the troubles of the world would return.
So they sat together, holding hands and eating from the hamper that Tatiana had arranged. Neither of them had eaten much in their quest to find his daughter, and the cheeses and fruits were welcome refreshments. He dared not wonder how Tatiana had obtained the hamper, hoping she had not pilfered from the kitchen without permission. An irate cook might wait for him to add to his issues when he returned to the real world outside the woods.
Eventually, they both knew they could not delay any longer, so Jane tucked the handle of the hamper over her arm while he carried the blanket and they headed back to the manor. Once they reached the edge of the woods, Barclay realized they could not continue together. As relations, they might relax some proprieties, but once a betrothal was announced, their being observed alone together would be cast in a different light.
Taking the hamper from Jane, he bade her to return ahead of him so he might dally in the woods for a while to give her an opportunity to make her way inside alone.
When sufficient time had passed, he began his walk across the gardens. As predicted, reality set in as he approached the manor, and many thoughts clamored to be heard.
What if Richard was angry at this turn of events? The earl had no inkling of their relationship.
What if they were met with disgust or derision? Their age difference was not too extraordinary, but coupled with his status as a by-blow, there were going to be people with thoughts. Some would express them; others would display it in their attitudes.
What if their match horrified Jane’s family? They had sent their daughter to have a Season in London. Surely they had hoped she would make a match with a member of the gentry, or perhaps a minor peer. Instead, they would have to settle for an architect for a son-in-law. A successful, renowned architect, but a working man all the same. The field had made great strides over the past couple of decades as a bona fide profession, but it being accepted as a proper profession was slow going and not everyone saw it that way yet.
As he strode past the ornamental hedges and the terrace came into view, Barclay firmly put these thoughts from his mind. As Aurora had advised, the best course was to be united as a family and handle adversity as it presented itself. Avoiding adversity could not be the goal of living. Love, family, and work well done were far better goals. Adversity was simply what one dealt with when and where it could not be avoided, but what truly mattered in life was one’s accomplishments, which included the health and success of the family to whom he owed his loyalty and support.
Passing by the majestic oak tree, Barclay saw several guests playing nine-pins, including Mrs. Gordon. He nodded politely, but did not break his stride. It seemed a hundred years since he had played the silly game and had attempted to convince himself he could grow to like it over time. It seemed the height of obnoxious stupidity that he had tried to convince himself to make such an unsuitable match. If Natalya had been here, she would have shaken her head at his asinine behavior and accused him of cowardice.
She would have been right. He had been afraid that if he loved Jane as deeply as he had loved his late wife, he would never recover if he lost her, too. Or caused her unhappiness.
But one could not live one’s life in fear. Having the courage to take a risk brought much reward. Loving Natalya had been a privilege he would choose many times over, and he would never regret the life they had shared. Natalya knew her time was more limited than most, but she had had the courage to live her life to the fullest while she had the chance and had appreciated every moment she had walked the earth.
Something he should have paid more mind to since she had slipped into the unknown beyond.
Reaching the terrace, Barclay placed the hamper and blanket by the table of refreshments before heading inside. By now Aurora would have informed the earl that Tatiana was safe, and he hoped he would find his brother in his study so he could press on and discuss the awkward situation they were in.
All too soon, he approached the door of the earl’s study, which was ajar. Likely to catch a breeze, as the day was warm enough for the manor to be mildly stuffy.
As he reached the doorway, he heard the Duke of Halmesbury speaking. “I am afraid I will not be available to accompany you to Chatternwell in November because of prior engagements.”
“Nor I. I will be too far along for such a journey.” It was the countess, sitting near a window with her hand resting on her rounded belly.
Seizing the moment, Barclay rapped his knuckles on the door to announce his arrival. All three occupants in the study started, appearing distracted by something as they turned their heads to find him standing in the doorway.
Richard was the first to react, jumping to his feet to beckon Barclay to enter. “Barclay, Aurora informed us Tatiana is safe and sound. We are very relieved to hear. The duke and the other men just returned from their search not ten minutes ago.”
Barclay nodded, entering the room. “I thank you for all you did. I apologize for any inconvenience we caused.”
Richard shook his head adamantly. “Not at all. We are here to assist in such matters any time you need us.”
Barclay took up a seat across from the duke, the earl resuming his own seat at an angle from where the duke was sitting. Silent for several moments, Barclay considered scheduling a time to talk to Richard later that day. His brother was occupied with something, based on the uncomfortable silence that had descended upon the room after his arrival.
